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existential crises

by NumbExhaustion

So I guess I’m having a crisis over art and gender. Idk my art style anymore and anything a draw/make isn’t good enough. It’s kinda stressing me out because art has been the one thing I could rely on. Idk. Also I’ve been feeling some derealization? Idk. It’s like nothing feels like it’s real but it’s not like the classic derealization/depersonalization/dissociation that psychologists know. Idk. But the derealization feels a lot like what I previously described as dysphoria so now I’m like what if I’m not actually nonbinary. Idk. bit stressed and overwhelmed and I feel like I should die? idk. Logically I know I shouldn’t but idk anymore.

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4 comments

muspelhem 9/10/2020 - 12:44 pm

Maybe I move in the wrong circles, but I don’t understand why you need a label, for your art style or for your gender?

Why do you need to define it? Does it matter?

Teresa's Child 9/10/2020 - 10:37 pm

I second the above comment. Overall, does it really matter what your gender is? It doesn’t matter if you change your mind a hundred times does it? Not like you’re doing anything harmful either way. Sleep with whoever you like, define yourself however you want. What does it matter?

justdone 9/11/2020 - 8:34 am

Guys, not to contradict anyone but it’s easy to say gender doesn’t matter when you are in the majority. Sort of like white society saying racism doesn’t exist, you can’t know until you’ve been on the losing end. The fact is that LGBTQ people attempt suicide at a rate 3 times higher than hetero. I’m hetero so I can’t pretend to know the pain of being labeled sexually deviant but the numbers tell us it’s a big deal that we can’t just dismiss.

Teresa's Child 9/11/2020 - 11:41 am

Expressing any non-majority view lands you in a pretty bad spot. I don’t see why anyone has to express themselves in society — that’s a bad idea in general. “Society tells you to express yourself, but the moment you start they tell you to shut up.”

What your gender is shouldn’t matter if you just hide it. Am I missing something?

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