I Want To Be Angry

I screwed up again. I messed up. The past few weeks have been mess up after mess up after mess up. I did poor on my test. I just realized I have an assignment and report due tomorrow. I’m sick of it. I’m tired. Why do I do this? Why do I bother? I’m never going to make anything out of myself. I’ll never become something. I’m nothing. So why put in the effort? I’m sick of the race. I want to bail. I always bail. I’m good for nothing, and it is what it is. I’m sick of the numbers and the grades and the applications and the internships and the plans and the worrying and the anxiety and the future and everything. I just want to be and do nothing. Fuck this. Fuck everything. I’m tired of trying. It’s not like I was any good at it anyways. I’ll never amount to anything so I should just stay as nothing.