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lately

by c-ta

lately i’m in constant turmoil. i need attention. i’m not getting it.  i feel worn and dry, failure after failure.

the good news is i finally got diagnosed; persistent depression, generalized anxiety, and social anxiety. i’ve been a little obsessed with my diagnoses but they have been so close to me all these years without ever being fully present or known. and now they are.

i’m trying but i’m so close to hurting myself again. i don’t want to bother others with it. i feel like it’s not cared for, anyways, or if i even do resort to that i’ll only be met with anger. i feel trapped.

i’m in a great place but i feel so many sorrows.

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2 comments

Virus.Found 11/5/2020 - 5:54 am

My little heart can relate so much right now. I’ve woken up and decided to leave an App, where all my friends were. It’s not like anyone cared if I talked to them anyway.^^ I made it easier for them, so they wouldn’t have to be bothered everytime I tried to talk to them. Hey, cool.! Finally getting a diagnose is at least something. I mean the diagnosis is not good itself, but you know..

c-ta 11/8/2020 - 1:51 am

i wish the best for you, these feelings are really no fun and i feel sad myself lately but it’s so weird thinking other people are going through such awful times too. i hope if u talk to them again you can work things out n not feel so bad about it but ik it’s difficult when things have been like that in the first place.
and haha, it’s definitely not good, but for me i’ve just dealt with it this long it’s a lot better than not since i’ve known anyways for most of it. i dunno. it’s refreshing. i almost want to continue being unhealthy though, but i’m trying not to be
anyways. good luck with your own troubles

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