The title is, what I’ve used as the first line for a ‘matchmaking’ profile on a chat portal. I’ve had 8 matches that day, excitingly hitting everyone up, in expectation of finding fun people to hang around with. Well… Not even that little tool filters out all of those braindead morons.
Some didn’t know what to say at all, I had to pluck it out of their noses and some gave me not only ONE but TWO emojis as replies all the time. It’s cool, that apparently you’re laughing but I didn’t open an open mic show, I wanted an actual nice conversation about anything really. I could even talk about Flip Flops, for Christ’s sake.
It’s nothing new that hit me, while I kept trying to find a base of conversation, getting nothing in return, but.. I just can’t accept, that 99% I meet are that way. And I can’t follow, what the hell ever happened, that people got into such a poor social state. One even tried to explain to me, that the matchmaking was broken and tried to tell me to f@ck off. Wow. Do I need an effing VIP ticket to talk to you now.? I’d be stoked, if someone hit me up, mistake or no mistake in the match, to be open and fun around me.
I do understand, that people can be shy but if you’re not willing to even try saying anything, why hang around in a chat portal.? You could spend your time more useful and not be a ghost toward anyone who makes an attempt to getting to know you. I’m extremely anxious too in being awfully rejected, so much that I’ll remember it years later, because I can’t fucking let anything go.. And look at me.! I’m still going towards the option of not being a rude asshole or ignorant and boring.
Maybe I sound hateful, but who knows if there’s anything up some people’s heads, and if they actually question anything in this world. Buuut here is the somewhat jolly end: One person didn’t suck. Actually the complete opposite. She was really mindful about so many things, having suffered from similar fears before and having more experience than I do. Well, I have plenty of experience just not the capability to ever learn to stop trying to be my best version and to expect it in return from others too. We’ve filled the max. letter count in every of our responses for hours.
Seeing as there was one out of 8, that was a gem, maybe I should just keep trying.?