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Isn’t it funny…

by eternaldarkness

how we’re all suffering and feeling similar things, and yet we feel so alone?

No one knows each other here, so we are alone. I mean, for me at least, I have no real friends. I have no real connection to anyone or anything on this Earth.

I’ve always been alone. I used to be young, strong, and fine with being alone. But now it’s fucking depressing. What I crave the most is a connection with someone, IRL, to like me, to love me, to care about me.

What is life if no one cares about you? And you care about no one / nothing? Life is just empty.

Anyone have trouble making a REAL connection with someone? And not just someone you text or see every now and then. I mean someone who really, truly is your friend/lover/someone who cares about you.

Bleh, I’m rambling. My life is shit. Who will read my post?

6 comments
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6 comments

Mf 2/18/2021 - 10:02 pm

I read it. And yep, making real connections is difficult AF (pardon my french), even for non-depressed people, let alone in the middle of a pandemic. Sometimes i feel like nothing really exists because of that (not literally, i’d be on a mental institution if that was the case), like every interaction with others is so superficial that it might not even had happen. In my case i know pretty well i’m the one to blame tho, spent plenty of time shutting myself out and lost a few friends (never had too many) and a good chunk of my social skills along the way (i can fake them decently tho). But yeah, it’s not just you.

Azzam 2/23/2021 - 9:37 am

Damn, i totally get the “fake rellationship” Part, it feels like that the relationship you have with others is really artificial, artificial laugh and conversation topics.. All just for the sake of “getting things done”, damn. This hit way too close to home

Once 2/19/2021 - 12:28 am

I only read it until the words ended, then I stopped.

I can’t connect with anyone anymore, period. When any interaction with another human begins to become deeper than just casual acquaintance, such as a cool co-worker relationship, I head for the hills like a bat out of hell. There’s too much pain inside me to pretend I can keep pretending to be a normal person who enjoys being social. If that makes any sense at all. At my core, I’m misanthropic, with a strong need for approval, and a need to avoid human entanglements. What the hell does anything I just wrote even mean? I’m just whacked out, basically.

eternaldarkness 2/19/2021 - 2:02 pm

lol, it makes sense bc i’m the same way. definitely a misanthrope. i hate humans and human society, yet, like all humans, we crave love/connection/etc all that crap that sustains us. without it, what are we? just an ethereal whisp floating aimlessly in the air? alive but not really living. dead, but not physically dead.

Azzam 2/23/2021 - 9:33 am

I’m reading it buddy, and in a way, i understand your feelings. I also feels isolated, i have no real friends, just “friends” In college that are “friends” Because we have to finish an assignment, or “college club works”, and stuffs like that. I don’t actually hang out with them. I’m really bad at keeping a ” Normal” conversation and being entertaining enough to others in general. I don’t know what gets me to this point in life, but i totally get you- Not perfectly of course, but in a way at least.

If you want to chat with me about simple things, whether it’s about suicidal thoughts, simple things in life, etc. I’ll be here, we could use a private and safer way to chat, or maybe this forum will do- whatever you like.

I’m actually happy i found this website today, and that i can discuss things with people that also have some particular problems.

Azzam 2/23/2021 - 9:35 am

Oh, i forgot to add, Thanks for sharing your personal stories man, it might not look like it, but it helps to hear other peoples stories about their own problems. However weird that might sounds

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