Steps:
- try to be brave and if you try you will be brave!
- chase your dreams! quit your old job and find one that you will love
- don’t use things you don’t need. lowering the bills will lower stress
- find happiness in your children. your children will be your legacy, so find happiness in them
- be successful. many steps and much work you go through. but once your successful you will have a happy life
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For some it might be that easy. And for them great! But it’s not that way for everyone
How to not suicide
Just waltz right into a happy life like you’re walking through a doorway
If it were only that simple the world would be a happy place, but its not. I can check off all those things and inside of me they mean nothing.
1. yeah okay o do this one whenever i can and sometimes it goes well and i ask someone a question and i don’t even vomit which is pretty cool
2. my dreams are to eat my raw live flesh until there’s nothing nothing left. and to read fanfiction. neither of these exactly ensure long-term life or success. i don’t want to write i don’t want to talk i don’t want to work. just read, and eat my me
3. i don’t use anything i don’t *need* except for my electronic devices. i try not to spend money or owe anyone. i live frugally. i’ve only bought one pair of pants (from the thrift store for four dollars) in my life the only other ones i’ve had in recent memory have been nicked from the lost and found when i was still in public school or were scrounged out of my little brother’s trash bag of items to toss
4. i never ever ever ever ever want to subject children to myself like that. i am nowhere near stable enough to raise a child properly. even if i didn’t kms they would be traumatized if they ever walked in on me selfharming or i would overexpose or underexpose them to the outside world or i would let my experiences negatively color their perception of the world or i would have trouble feeding them well or clothing them well because i can’t hold a job or what if i’m too tired and burnt out to properly support their interests and it breaks their spirit or their will to learn. i would *never* want to harm a kid’s development like that
5. what does this mean? be successful in what? what is the metric? today i was successful in eating four live spiders and i was successful in cutting and i was successful in getting out of bed and i was successful in eating less than 300 cal (including the spiders)
were the spiders crunchy
yeah they were but if you’re looking for crunch always go for the cricket. crickets are basically pure crunch but today’s spiders were more furry than crunchy and were big enough for a proper gooey center
so basically spider = fuzzy gusher and cricket = French fry
ive actually had crickets before n’ they’re p good
crickets are also a great source of protein and you can use ground cricket meal as a substitute for almond flour. it’s great cuz plain cricket meal even has that kind earthy nutty taste. like seriously i’ve done this for marzipan and macarons and you can’t even tell it’s bug.
if you bake a spider it is much crunchier but i prefer to feel them crawl around in my mouth
some of us don’t have the energy to “chase [our] dreams”, some don’t even have dreams to chase. my family is financially comfortable to say the least, and i still want to die. i don’t even have bills to stress over because i’m still a junior in high school. i will never, ever have children. to bring another being into this cruel world to satisfy parental pipe dreams (which i don’t have) is selfish. im arguably very academically successful but i still want to die. i still feel like shit.
none of it is as simple as you make it out to be. it’s debilitatingly complicated. try telling someone with a chronic illness to “drink more water” or “go outside more”
it’s the same thing. it’s not that simple, it will never be that simple.