I only get these thoughts and I keep them to myself. I always have since my last attempt ruined me. I just wish life was easier, I have a loving partner currently after leaving a toxic ex. I am productive, I help my family, I care for them and do my best. But everything feels so burdensome. Even when I’m with the love of my life, I feel exhausted, I want to run away. I often feel like I am being forced into a role I don’t belong. And it’s one I can not escape.