I probably have some type of trauma. Whenever I get confronted, I always try to escape somehow.
Because, in the end, I’m still that same kid running away from his bullies, hiding and crying. Skipping class for hours just because he’s scared of being beaten. So scared. So lonely. But he can’t talk to anyone, because even his parents hit him, scream at him. Teachers too. And his classmates avoid him because he’s weird. That’s the way I was, and still am. So scared, so lonely, so confused and sad and angry and unable to do anything about it because of how scared I am.
Maybe I will be like this forever? I don’t want that, but I can’t… I can’t, I’m so scared. I can’t. Do anything to make it better. I’m too scared. I just run away from everything. I’m not safe anywhere, not even my own house. My own family. And how does this help me? I’m still… the same as always.