I’m kind of tired. I don’t want to do anything. I have two tests and one presentation left and that’s the semester. Even though I only have two things left, I don’t really care about any of it. I just feel like coasting. I’ve always coasted, so why should now be any different. I just ain’t feeling it. Any of it really. It’s all just a pain to deal with. I kind of just want to go to sleep and not have to worry about any of it. I often think about what’s supposed to make people happy. What is that quality that people find that makes them say “Yeah this thing that I’m doing right now is fine.” I often try to look for happiness in my accomplishments or in people that I want to be close to. However, I’ve never accomplished anything worth being proud of and I have nobody close to me. So where exactly am I supposed to look if the places I’ve already check aren’t doing it. Hmm. It’ll be one month next week since I’ve stopped. I’m thinking about keeping it up. It doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things, but maybe this is the time it will stick. I’ve always been afraid to let go, but maybe this time I will. I know the only way to really do that is to just cut it off completely, but even then I’m scared. The last time I tried to do it, I left one little thread hanging, because I was too scared to let go. I don’t think I’ll cut the cord completely just yet, but I think it might be in the cards. Who knows? At the end of the day it just wasn’t in the cards. I have to just learn to be ok with that.