So now theres been 4 of my exes who have wanted to see me and be intimate. And i rejected all of em. As much as i want to because its been 7months since ive done anything, i really need to let go and just wait for someone who will treat me like i mean something and not just another option. Idk how men can use women like that, its pretty degrading. Like a person is always good enough to screw but never date. Like bruh that makes us feel like sh*t, just an fyi. You get your ego boost and we question our self worth til we go crazy.
But this is a new Ellen. I dont want to settle, i dont want meaningless sex cuz thatll just make me worse later on in the day. But im focused on my mental health right now, not releationships. Sex is def the last thing on my list to my road of recovery. I know dude is thinkin he will hear from me soon thinkin id change my mind about his offer but no i have to do this for myself. I have to prove them theyre wrong, i have to show them that im not a dog thats gonna keep runnin back home, and they need to know that No i will not be there for them anymore. The new Ellen will need new people anyways. I dont want someone from my past anymore because then nothin will ever change!!!
New Ellen who dis?!
5 comments
Things do change, it doesn’t mean they get better
I have a rule kind of about relationships, once I decide it’s over it’s like a book I’ve read I don’t need to read it again I know how it ends. Hard to find a new relationship when hanging out with old ones. I would have a hard time getting into to a relationship with someone hanging out with their old lovers.
Ive tried a new relationship recently and it ended in disaster. We never even got to the sex stage. I realize Im just too damaged to be in a relationship. I was married to a person with BPD/Bipolar and she really did a lot of damage to me inside. Im still a mess and although I want to get on with my life a relationship just puts off me healing inside right now and I just have to accept that. Younger men will always look to women in their pasts to get some when they have a relationship thats ended. They want to get over the pain of the heartbreak and thats how many do. Sure I did that when I was younger I admit but don’t fall for it. Just wait and heal and when the right one comes along preferably not from your past you will know its right. They will be patient and kind and not selfish.
Well my exes always sense when ive moved on and when im starting to improve myself. Seriously ive even had a guy who was a 1night stand over 10yrs ago, hit me up out of the blue. And its like Why do u remember me? And why do you have my phone number? I dont intend to take my past anymore no matter how strong the thirst is.
Good for you 🙂