Little Talks

my life is been a loop. For years I’ve been suicidal but as time goes on I forgot why. So I kept living for 6 more years still with suicidal tendencies. Some days I forget about my depression but it always come back. But looking into the past revealed the truth. I’m not supposed to be alive right now. I’ve been talking to a ghost the whole time. I just wanted be with her, be loved by her but she’s been gone for a long time. I don’t want to live without her. I can’t. I won’t survive because there’s nothing left for me. No purpose or reason to live. So this  is what rock bottom feels like