I had a terrible dream last night. It’s where I had a new girlfriend that is way more abusive than my ex. It was awful. Being miserable and abused in real life and when I’m unconscious.
Odd that I find more comfort here than talking to people in real life about my problems.
The day I met you was my favorite. Now everyday I wish it was also my last.
I hate someone that I love. The reason I hate that person is because they made me love them. Stop playing with my life god.
There’s a another jack on this website so I guess I’m jack #2. I really don’t want to wake up tomorrow, this is just a circle and completely pointless. Why is happiness so hard to reach, meanwhile sadness is so hard to get rid of. Sometimes life feels like a sick joke. People that I care about dies but I get to live? I didn’t ask for this , take it back cause I don’t want it.
- Ah a place where I can actually talk and interact with people. I usually talk to myself. Or write about it. It’s been what two years since my last attempt. 100 benzodiazepines pills down the hatch. At first it was scared out of my mind, then a minute later I’m like “oh well” . it was nice, peaceful. I actually could breathe. I closed my eyes and fall into a abyss. Then I woke up next morning, you don’t understand how awful I felt. Not from the meds, but from failing. It was a horrible feeling. Next morning I was dizzy all day and felt like I was drunk without drinking. I even drove my car that day. My whole entire family didn’t notice, and they still don’t know that it happened. I don’t want them to know. Does that make me a terrible person? Then recently the feeling of Just wanting to die came back,I had a dream where for some reason my friend told me I was going to die alone. The person would obviously would never say that but it feels like it’s sending me a message, and now I’m start believe more and more. I’m not suicidal but I Just having a feeling of deep sadness or not caring anymore. I can’t take anymore, yet I still have to. I’m tired, I’ve given up. I’ve been giving up everyday that I live.I hope this confidential
Is this confidential?