I want to end this life so badly, and leave this awful world once and for all, but I’m afraid of ending up in an even worse place.
I know that my life WILL end up by the means of suicide one day, and when that day comes while I’m dying there will be always this fear present in my thoughts. The fear of ending in a bad place.
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I used to have thoughts like that. But then I decided that if I were to die, I would want to go wherever the other suicidal souls went. And be with them. Wherever that might be
I often think the same way as you do because over the years I’ve lost a few good friends by the means of,suicide and it would be nice if I’m reunited with them one day.
My personal thoughts on that is we become one with the void. Any distinction we might have had in life collapses, and we meet with nothingness like salt to water. Maybe other things live in such ether, but not us. I like the idea that nothingness is so total on the other side as the somethingness is absolute (painfully so) on this side.
Maybe there is a God, but that does not assure that similar support structure exists for our minds or souls. Our bodies become dirt, and I imagine a similar level of reduction occurs across the spectrum. It would be interesting to be wrong, but not nearly as joyous as not being.
I get what you’re saying. I remember I fainted once. Although I wasn’t dead I remember feeling a bit disappointed when I awoke. It’s strange but I actually kinda remember just how peaceful it “felt?”….technically I wasn’t feeling. It’s hard to describe but I kinda wish I hadn’t come back awake. It was the most peaceful sleep I’ve ever had and it only lasted a few seconds. It was weird because I remember seeing a flash like when you would hit the reset button on the Super Nintendo. Each of my senses slowly came back as I was in the process of awakening. The fainting part I don’t remember. What I do remember was the bridge between the void and consciousness. Obviously, I can’t remember the void itself but I can remember the bridge in between as my senses slowly came back. Those senses didn’t start coming back until after the bright flash. First I saw nothing but black, then I felt extremely hot, then I started hearing voices, then everything was blurry, I felt a tingling all around my body and I felt cold. I couldn’t stand up for a few minutes, it’s as if my muscles and nerves had stopped working. A nurse sat me up and told me I’d have to wait a few minutes before I could feel again. I literally couldn’t feel much of anything in my body besides my ass and even that I could barely feel as I sat on the ground. If I could think of an ideal time to kill me I’d say it was right thereafter I had awoken. Suicide would have been impossible at that moment however because I couldn’t move.
Martin-I’m sure you were brainwashed to believe there are souls, afterlives, demons, gods, devils, fairies, etc.
I’m here to tell you that is all bullcrap, invented in a pre-scientific age by morons who didn’t know there is only our reality and nothing more.
Anyone that claims there is another ‘realm’ is either lying or is a fool or a loon. Nobody has been to an ‘afterlife’ and science has never found such a place, so relax.
This is the one and only life you’ll ever get, once we die it’s over-we cease to exist forever. Where were you before you were born? That’s where you will ‘return.’
So don’t let the fear of hell scare you out of making rational decisions for yourself. I too think I’ll probably end my life by my own hands eventually.
When I was younger I loved life, but as I grew older I realized my life was crap, I was born to average losers who were not rich and I knew I’d suffer.
I tried to stay positive and I thought if I studied, worked hard I could have at least a middle-class level life. But a lot of shit happened in my life that derailed that goal.
I’ve stuck around only because I care for a few family members and I have some hope still that I can make my life better. I’d like to enjoy at least a few good years before ending it but so far I’m just been scraping by as always and that’s not good enough for me.
I’ve given myself another 5-10 years (as I’m middle-aged) to make things better but I figure if I don’t improve my life by 60 yrs old, then it will never happen unless someone drops a million dollars in my lap.
Still I feel I really have come a long way-my job today is the best it’s been compared to some of the past crappy jobs I’ve held and I get along well with family. I’ve also improved myself as a person, though I still need to get myself in good physical shape again and I’m working on that too.
Who knows maybe things will get good enough for me over time that I’ll just ride it out into old age and then opt for euthanasia as it is legal and becoming more liberal and accepted every year in Canada.
Believe me I have my days where I’d absolutely love to ‘pull the plug’ on this life, but if it was easy I probably would’ve done it ages ago. Perhaps that’s a good thing it’s hard to commit suicide, because while we might not value our lives, others do.
So that’s why when you are truly serious about ending it, then you know it is the right decision for you because there is no going back and life has to get bad enough that it finally becomes the better option.
Science also can´t explain how thoughts pop up in your head or how you are conscious of them and yet here you are. I think the key word is “you” or “me”. You as what you identify yourself as (your ego) is gone forever when you die but that is not all there is to it. Like who would “you” be if there was no Earth or Sun. “You” don´t come into this world, “you” come out of it, like a leaf out of a tree. When the leaf dies it is gone for ever, there will never be a leaf like that ever again, but the tree is still there and doesn´t even notice that one of its leaves had died.
ITSOKTOCRY,
There is only the physical universe, atoms, molecules and energy. There is nothing outside or beyond that otherwise science would be the first to discover it.
Ofc we have imaginations and so we can invent all sorts of things like other realms, dimensions, plains and creatures that inhabit them like unicorns, krakens, gods, giants, devils, etc. But these are simply our fantasies they are not real.
The only way we know about God or Superman is because someone dreamed it up and put it in a book. If you’re going to say that Superman is real then you need to provide proof, that is have him visit us and perform great feats and fly around. Otherwise he’s not real but a product of our imagination as I was saying.
You said when you die that’s not all there is to it, what do you mean? Do you have any evidence of a non-corporeal existence? Without proof it’s just an unverified claim. It’s like saying your dead grandma is in heaven looking down on you-it’s whimsical thinking not based in reality.
Also money doesn´t improve the quality of life necessarily. Its cliche but it´s true. Money is good to have but if someone “dropped a million in your lap right now, I doubt that in 6 months you would feel “happier”.
“I’ve also improved myself as a person, though I still need to get myself in good physical shape again and I’m working on that too.” – I think that is great. Seriously it helped my mental health so much when I got “in shape” physically. Like I could not believe it. It all goes together man.
Wish you have a nice day. I am not trying to lecture you or anything. You have seen much more of this world than I have at my age. I just try to give my perspective and opinion and thats all.
Money is freedom, it frees you from the workaday world which is the main source of misery for a lot of people. If you were rich then your housing, food, medical, travel and other needs are taken care of.
It might not directly ‘buy happiness’ but taking a trip to a desert island might make some people happy. Actual happiness does also require you to have good friends, family members and good health.
If one suffers from mental or physical illness that can’t easily be cured then ofc money can’t fix that for you but I’m talking about normal people who don’t have those issues.
“I think that is great. Seriously it helped my mental health so much when I got “in shape” physically. Like I could not believe it. It all goes together man. “
Thanks and I’m glad you got fit again. I agree, I used to be athletic most of my life, I was on sports teams too. I also got into weight-training when I was in university but my grades were getting killed so I had to quit, unfortunately I got caught up with life and neglected my health and gained weight.
I’m still struggling with career and other issues like sleep, but I’m trying to find time to get back into exercising regularly, not just to be in shape again but for good health.
“Wish you have a nice day. I am not trying to lecture you or anything. You have seen much more of this world than I have at my age. I just try to give my perspective and opinion and thats all.”
Thanks wish you a nice day as well. No problem-I’m open to differing thoughts and ideas, regardless of age.
I’m not that much different than when I was younger but I’m able to articulate myself better now than I was in the past and ofc have more experience in life so I make less mistakes.
No harm in sharing your opinions that’s why we’re all here. Best Regards. 🙂
Don’t let science make you closed-minded. The world is full of wonder and mystery and science can’t begin to understand a fraction of it.
If you combined every super computer together, and tried to simulate a single leaf.. every atom, every neutron, color, cell, everything.. the super computers wouldn’t even be able to recreate even a fraction of it.
I’m not a religious person. But i also refuse to limit my understanding of the world to a massively incomplete science.
DW,
Quite the opposite, science makes one open-minded and realize that the world is more amazing and complex than we realize.
Being close-minded is when people believe a magical sky daddy made everything and that we can stop thinking about it and worship him or her, though we have no proof these beings exist, outside our own heads.
Supercomputers don’t create material objects, but they can simulate them in the digital world.
The universe is a mystery but science has explained a lot if not all of it. Certainly religious people mumbling to themselves in a dark corner haven’t come up with anything new in 2,000 years.
It’s science that gave us computers, antibiotics, telescopes to probe our universe and everything that we enjoy today. Religion gave us magic fairies that cannot be proven and religious wars. It’s religion that stood in the way of scientific advancement but thankfully we threw them out of power.
What do you mean ‘massively incomplete science.’ Can you explain something which science hasn’t by using other means? I’m very interested to know. If you’re going to claim other realms like heaven/hell exist, you need to bring hard evidence.
Anyone can cites “science” for their purposes. But the fact is that there is no scientific data, theoretical or anecdotal, regarding what happens after death. This subject is entirely of an opinionated nature so it’s fine to spout your opinion, but don’t hide behind “science” unless you can cite a specific study or a specific scientific principle.
If anything, the overwhelming scientific principle of the fucking universe is that nothing is either created nor destroyed. Mass doesn’t vanish. Energy doesn’t disappear. These things are transformed into other phenomena: sound, heat, light, particles and things we haven’t even begun to quantify. So anyone with a truly scientific mind will have to entertain the concept of our essence (call it soul, consciousness, “ego”, whatever) being transformed, dispersed and/or recycled like every other quantity in the known universe. I am open to all possibilities except the ones spouted by people who assert that theirs is THE truth. Instant logic fail right there.