everything about talking to people in person, is unsettling to me. i literally dissociate every time i have to interact with someone. i have no idea what to say. i literally have a script of basic things to say in my head that i go over before the interaction. “just say good morning, here you go and get out of there”. i cant even handle something that basic without feeling like my eyes are inverting. or like theyve sunken to the back of my head. i feel bad if i dont have eye contact because “youre suppose to” but doing it makes me sooooo uncomfortable.
i cant interact with humans at all…
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Interaction is hard. With me I think it’s not so much dissociation as a state of nervous embarrassment. But I also rehearse basic things to say beforehand. And I find it very hard to make eye contact. I think my eyes sometimes twitch when I try – it’s that much of an effort to keep from looking down. I worry that I look absolutely crazy.
“I worry that I look absolutely crazy.”
YES! the feeling of “omg do they notice that im acting weird? they probably do” doesnt help the situation at all.