its funny, this was my fourth attempt, usually i plan out everything in advance, but this was so spontanious, i just felt an urge. i failed, sadly and my boyfriend was spam calling me, i picked up and i heard him sobbing, asking me why, telling me hes sorry and my heart broke. his voice and how he sobbed has been replaying in my mind past few days and i just feel awful about it now. i just feel selfish for causing all of this pain to him. im tired.
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It seems he really cares for you as a significant other. I wish I had someone like that, but sadly I have only myself. It seems you’re reaching your limit with your depression. I don’t know your story, it can be real tough dealing with it. As I’ve attempted before but fail, but I always try to think that others have it worse than me. Though that way of thinking won’t work all the time, I sometimes have to push myself in doing things I enjoy doing like music and sax are my things to do. I can’t stop you if u try again, but I’ve been down that path. Hurting everyday and wanting all to end. It sucks. You have a guy, a bf that cares for you though. Some of us don’t even have that. Hell I wish I had a caring gf like that. Still though, people have different issues. I hope that you think about it before doing anything. Maybe your bf can be the person that can motivate you to live on. Then again, maybe it’s a purpose in life you haven’t found yet. Best wishes to you dear friend.