(very very shortened version )
i was 12. He was mush older. He was anonymous. I had issues with my parents with friends all i wanted all i craved was validation. he was there. I was on a chatting site per my (ex)friends recommendation.i got wat i craved and he got so much more. he wanted to play “truth or dare” he purswaded me to do things to myself…I thought about it for a year)i still think about it wveyrday) crying every day. I still cry everyday and its been 3 tears im 15 and im donw with it all. I could get help since this is classified as “sexual assult” but its not worth it. Im tired im tired of dealing with my dad im donw with these toughts weighing me down everyday i cant do it anymore im trying to get help beacuse i know people who will be sick if i die adn itll be selfish but “theyll get over it” sticks to my head like a sticky note. even though i know my mom wont. i feel like im constantly being crushed and i feel like im constantly on the verge of tears.
I wrote this in a frenzy…im sry
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4 comments
I don’t take any of what you wrote lightly, that’s really heavy stuff, but for some reason 2 somewhat silly questions popped up in my head after reading. Was there a round 1 of this? A previous post?
and, I don’t know why I’m asking this but, if you could choose to have 1 person be by your side through this pain, which would you choose: a boy-friend, a girl-friend, an older sister, an older brother, a boyfriend (or, maybe, a girlfriend). Which do you feel would help you the most if you had them in your life now?
Keep your head above the water for as long as you can Ans, maybe a rescue boat will pass by!
there was a more in depth like fr super long page with all the gory details but then i accidentally clicked something and it brought me to the log in screen so my whole story was gone so thats why its “round two” lmao
and to ur second question nope im 15 ive kinda learned how to suppress it and not constantly think theres something wrong with me or like im dirty but it never really goes away like ever. Now it happened when i was 12 and naive i wanted attention that i didnt get from anyone in mylife. it happened no one i can tell in my life who wouldnt blame me who wouldnt make me feel even worse than i already do which sucks but whatever. I feel like im drowning constantly and that would just push me further down.
hope that answers ur questions 🙂
Thank you for your answers!
For the second point though:
I meant imaginarily Ans, not someone already in your life. If you can imagine an ideal, non-judgmental, 100% supportive person who would just by some miracle fall from the sky & be your companion through the hard times of life (now & later on), which of those options would you prefer/be hoping for?
Older sister, older brother, girl-friend, boy-friend, boyfriend, etc.
Hmmm… ive never really thought about it but probably an older sister.