I hit the ground running this morning, and first thing, the first thing I dealt with?
My computer either lost or corrupted a hard drive. That might sound weird to non desktop people, I have seven hard drives… and I know, seven, that seems like a bit much, right? It’s my entire digital life for the past decade. Lucky enough, what I lost was just the last 5 months, the rest was redundant data for other drives.
Still, it upset me, particularly because it is made worse by my motherboard developing an issue where the hard drive sata ports are dead, meaning that I couldn’t connect it to another port, I need a new motherboard. Is need too much to say?
I’m symbiotically linked with my desktop. It has my games, art, movies and writing projects… ah yes and porn, oh god the porn, and the erotica….. anyway, it’s my biggest backstop against being violently suicidal. Right now for example I have five games I’m working on, and I anticipate that will last for another eight months at least. That’s all I have to do to stay alive, keep projects alive that have a later end date. Unsurprisingly I haven’t recommended this strategy because of the expense.
Anyway; I knew that my first line of defense was to ask my folks, a bit dodgy because they at least like to pretend not to know how sick I actually am.
Which brings me to the strikes category. I pushed through and got my last transcript turned in, and messaged my reference for grad school. Once that goes through, my application phase is done. Riding the thrill of that, I called my folks and told them of my progress, and conveniently asked for the new motherboard after… and it worked!
Then I did my grocery shopping. So I have food for the next week, yay.
Which is why I’m thinking about Big Lebowski, and the quote; “Oh you know, strikes and gutters, ups and downs.” in response to “how is it going?”
“the Dude” from that movie is my personal hero. I’m entirely burnt out, like him, and he’s somehow managed to turn it into a lifestyle where he mostly bowls…. and it’s only worth telling stories about because he gets entangled in a kidnap/ransom situation.
Come to think of it, I used to add a caveat, that I wanted to be more laid back than the dude because he does actually get quite upset throughout the movie….. only the thing is now I get it, when you don’t have much going on, those little things start mattering much more.
So maybe it isn’t so silly him getting so upset about his rug. Maybe it was his one backstop against depression.
Watch the movie, it’s good for a laugh. Point is, as desolate as I feel, sometimes things seem to work out…… lord knows how, but they work out.
Post Script; also a bit further out, IF I get into grad school, there should be some money unreported, and I’d get to fix my computer up a bit more. That’s not entirely plausible to me, but the recruiter messaged me a few times while my phone was on do not disturb during the holiday…. so they might really want me…. IF they did, it would be a stunning reversal of fortune.
2 comments
Hats off to you, fellow Game-Maker
Didn’t know you made games. That’s pretty cool.
I had a massive library of emulated games and saved games and what not. 6 years of emulation and saves, all lost 2 years back. It still pisses me off to this day, and yet, at the end of the day, I find it’s not as huge a loss as I’d thought initially. If I’d had another 4 GB backup drive maybe I’d have been okay. Timing was bad because I’d just gotten my new setup so yeah, that’s rough. I feel your pain there.
You do work on the computer. You def need a new mobo. Not a want but a need.
I’m not sure what’s keeping me going at this point. I guess the inherent will to live, the primal need to survive? At least we can try to focus on some small things that bring a little relief from the overall bullshit.