i want it all to end, but i cant. i swore i would help someone with some feelings, but its getting hard to keep mine in check. she does help me, alot, but i cant take it anymore. i feel torn. i need to help her, but i also need to help myself. i wake up and feel a mix of anxiety, depression, and determination. i hate myself, and i want all of these feelings to end. i keep remembering some things that have happened to me…. but then i get a text from her saying “are you okay?” these little things help me; it shows that someone cares. my self hatred forces me to work out, eat and just try to look decent to the world. but no matter how hard i try, its never enough. how do i get out of this??
Awesome that you have a friend in this. 2 people can help keep each other afloat. I think you’ve hit the magic cure, if there is such thing, and that is to live to help others. It shifts the focus away from our own mess.
But then we run into the problem you said. Who’s gonna fix our mess if we don’t? idk… Ideally your friend should give you strength and it sounds like she’s doing that but you need more.
Thats where I’m stuck too. I’m living to help others and that keeps me going, or at least functional most days, but overall I’m still sinking. And when it gets to the point where you can’t help anyone, can’t even help yourself, what then…
then you help strangers on the internet 🙂
its not great that you feel that way, but i think if we dont, we wont help. then what. if the whole world gets depressed, at least there are those who help. hang in there, and dont literally hang. we can all get through this.