I have/ had several uncles but two in particular served as a warning of what or what not to become. My Father’s side of the family being rooted in criminality. Criminality as a result of poverty, poverty of a Dickensian level. My Father managed to get out of that cycle early, he met my mother, became a homeowner and managed to do okay in life. Had he not met my mother, married a woman from the social class he grew up in, things would of been different. His brother, who I only met a few times struck me as a charismatic character, not someone you could trust but most importantly connected to reality.Everyone only has a very tenuous grasp on reality to begin with but if that grasp on reality breaks for whatever reason it really is the end of the line. This uncle made a living over the years out of very dodgy/ iffy schemes. Back in the 60’s he made a living as a photographer. A photographer specializing in blackmail. The blackmail of rich syphilitics receiving treatment in Dr Steeven’s hospital. He had romanced a receptionist who tipped him off about the times these syphilitics would be coming out of the hospital and their home address. ‘Watch the birdie’ he would annouce as he took their picture. For my part I always found that part hilarious, ruthless but hilarious. Later on it was in and out of jail, and finally as an old man romancing women aged 50/ 60 out of their life savings and property. Not a guy you could trust but remained connected to the real world.
An uncle on my Mother’s side of the family has always been disconnected from reality. As a kid my brother and I went down to my Mother’s parents house every Sunday and even as a kid I was sharp enough to know something was not right about him. In contrast to the criminal uncle he was trustworthy but had terrible social skills, had never been or will be with a woman, and was content to rot away in an armchair in that house. I started to realize as I grew up that the guy for reasons best known to himself was disconnected from reality. My hypothesis has always been this happened as a result of too much isolation.
Out of those two uncles, the former is certainly not one to admire, but the latter is a fate worse than death. He is still rotting away in that house, his parents, my grandparents are long dead.