One of these days I’m going to eat the slug. I was always a miserable self-destructive pos. Tried to get my life together and got fucked up badly with injuries and illness. Now im in chronic pain. Fortunately i got about what i deserve so im not crying about that. Just dont want to go through life being useless anymore. My body is wrecked. My mind is rotted. No point in living if you cant contribute or bring value to others. People around me say im one of the most negative people they know; and admittedly i dont like anybody. I Dont like my family. I dont like my friends. I dont even like my wife all that much. And im the problem im just a psycho. No idea how anyone gets enjoyment out of anything when it all seems so pointless. Cant even go into nature without seeing some wannabe influencer recording their walk through the woods for the tiktok.
Add to it that it feels like humanity is collectively ready to jump off the cliff with all the hatred and division. Biggest debt bubble in history along with ww3 under way… i definitely dont have a future in this world. Im fucking crazy and it seems like everyone is just as crazy if not crazier than me which is disappointing. Seems like humanity is on a one way ticket to pain and suffering, of which i already endure plenty.
Every day i pray for the nukes to fly so i can watch the end smoking a blunt on my porch with a smile on my face.
One of these days i might get sick of waiting and eat that slug. I aint worth crying over. Frankly none of our lives matter and we are all equally worthless.
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I’ve heard firearms are generally very effective, but then if they fail, you could survive with horrible injuries and be worse off than before, esp. with shotguns. There are far better, safer, reliable methods imo…we can’t discuss that here, but you might want to google it.
I’m personally going with fen (or carfen) or N2 or combine them. N2 based on clinical studies of animal euthanasia, is as effective as Nem (which is hard to get).
Having had back pain issues myself, I can relate to an extent. Fortunately, usually with rest I get better…if it was permanent and I was debilitated, then I wouldn’t go on…absolutely no reason to prolong one’s suffering if there’s no getting better.
I doubt you’re a psycho…I think you’ve had a rough life and people around you are unsympathetic…like many people out there. I wish you well whatever you decide to do.