If the story doesn’t go on,…it ends.

I probably shouldn’t even consider death as an option, I got a wonderful wife and two adorable daughters. I know I’m needed as a father, sometimes as a husband, but that is not enough for me. I want to win in life and if my family is like food for my well being, then success on the work side of life is like water. Ever since I finished my secondaries, I’ve just been jobbing around, even if I was good at what I was doing, there was always something to take me out. Now I’m 35 jobless again since 1.5 years, considering my age my eperience and the reasons for my recent unemployment, I don’t see how I ever will get a career. I probably could have still my job, but only at the cost of my personality, which is just another form of suicide. To make it short, although my family might miss me, they will at least be financially safe (life insurance). I would have loved to see my children grow up and teach them what they need to know, but in my depressed status I am leess and less of a help, in the end I’ll become an additional burden for them, they don’t deserve that. I hope my wife will find someone else to make her and the kids  happy, I really wish it for them. I lived now long enough with this constant depression, I can’t imagine to do another 40 or 50 years like this. My mood is worsening constantly, slowly since I try to contain it, I try to make it not so felt, it’s enough if I feel bad. No need to comment on this, I wont come back to read it. Cheers and bye bye