Breaking Bad

I was born to a 16 year old mother. She neglected to tell the father, for whatever reason. This left me in a situation where I spent most of my time with my physically abusive grandmother, while my mom was off at college or work. Sometimes, my grandmother wouldn’t speak to me for days if I misbehaved.

In school, I did well up until grade 5 or so, at which point I started slipping, as more was expected from me, and I didn’t yet see the point of what they were teaching me. By grade 7 I was a straight F student, squeaking by to high school using online classes. I dropped out ten days after my sixteenth birthday.

I’ve never had a real girlfriend in the state I’ve called my home for my lifetime. I had one slightly sexual relationship with this girl from a very distant sleepaway camp during the summers of my 13th-15th years. There was a girl I knew nearby that kissed me twice when I was 18, and while I was pretty pleased with that, it didn’t last. (I’m 20 now.) Now, every rejection is crushing, because I’ve got no one else to turn to. I’ve never been able to relate to the people around me, and it’s mutual. It’s nights like these when I realize that things rarely get better than bad for me, and I don’t know if I can overcome that history.