I’ve battled with depression over several years; I’ve tried different meds to help out, but with varying success. They can keep me up to a certain level, but once life hits, there’s no staying afloat.
There’s been so much turmoil in my life; business going bust, marriage on the verge of breaking, custody and visitation battles, verbal fights with stepkids, friends leaving me, money running out, vehicles break beyond repair or being stolen, workplace f**ked up..
I’m at the point where I just don’t see what my purpose of being here is – people and situations just constantly push back or throw spanners in the works and every day is a dreary battle of trying to anticipate what shit life will throw at me today.
Finally, I’ve had enough, so I bought equipment for the last “BBQ for one”. Carbon monoxide poisoning should stop this constant struggle and suffering I live in.
When preparing to go (have an outhouse I would seal up) I set the charcoal bag outside and went to the bathroom. At that instant a heavy thundershower starts and torrential rain comes – and wets all my charcoal.
Did I mention my vehicle was stolen and that I live far from any grocery store, so obtaining fresh ones is not easy at all?
Someone in the ethereal realm is having a whole lot of fun at my expense and suffering..
4 comments
There was a thunderstorm in my area lately. It’s probably someone awful “up” there, laughing at all of us.Them kids at FML think they got it rough…
your right i supose, there must be something out there controlling us, something much much much greater than us. but that answer is basically unknown from science and everything else.
in your situation, it must rly suck right now. god (if you are buddist or muslim or some other sort of religion, please forgive me) gave us all free will. and god only knows good. adamn and eve were some what “powerfuler” than god, (not that god isn’t stronger in power wise) through knowledge because men and women have the knowldge of good and evil. so then why would god strike bad against us? and besides, this divine one has no need of anything, no need of emotions.
the world actually isn’t an evil place (depending on how you look at it), meanning, nothing that was naturally created was evil, besides natural disasters. its the choice of free will of humans that made this world seem evil. humans are the ones reflecting and comitting acts of evil, (again depending on how u look at it).
if there is some thing up there than it must have created the whole universe with it’s 100 billion galaxies and its 100 billion stars per galaxy. so lets say there are 100 billions stars with planets which support intelligent live. do you think it does care and listen to every of the lets say 3 billion living and intelligent beings per planetary system?
anyways
“When preparing to go (have an outhouse I would seal up) I set the charcoal bag outside and went to the bathroom. At that instant a heavy thundershower starts and torrential rain comes – and wets all my charcoal.
Did I mention my vehicle was stolen and that I live far from any grocery store, so obtaining fresh ones is not easy at all?”
^^ made my day – it is so funny, if there is something up there than it’s humor is kind of sarcastic.
yours beatenup
Burton, I would keep on living. Why? Because your going to die anyway. You’ve lost everything right? All that means is that now you have nothing to loose. You can finally live life as a free man, doing what you want; because you are going to die anyway. Load up supplies and start walking. Hitchhike, hell who cares if you get killed by some weirdo right? Go somewhere completely new and start a new life. Sounds scary doesn’t? Starting over from the ground up, with no money, no shelter, no friends or family. But you can recreate yourself from who you are right now reading this.
Keep on fitting this fucking miserable life until you drop dead from exhaustion. Don’t give up so easily just because your current self is fucked up.