I may have fallen once again for him. Maybe I’m stupid… actually I am. I’m not saying he will break my heart but from all he’s said and done, it’s going to take a long time to fix “us”. I don’t trust him but I love him. I have faith that we will be together for a long time, but I did think that last time. I honestly don’t know what to think, I guess I’m just going to go with it this time. At least if he does fuck me over, I’ll know what to expect this time.
Then again sometime the thought of him never coming into my life scares the fuck out of me. I know that if he wouldn’t have showed up, I would be dead for sure. But I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
The thought of me loosing him scares me even more. Not we-aren’t-getting-back-together loosing him. I mean he-never-wants-to-talk-to-me-again loosing him. Just thinking about me never talking to him or him not helping me get through the stupid shit I do makes me shake. I can’t even bare the thought of not being able to one day meet him.