I know how it feels to not want to be here. Both of my sisters committed suicide 17 months apart from each other. One in july and another this past Nov a day after thanksgiving.They both hung themselves. I feel like they gave up on me and left me in this world alone. I get very angry but I realize me getting mad does nothing. I feel like giving up and being with them many of days but I cant hurt my family and mostly, my mother. I wish I could of saved them and they was here with me today. losing one sister was hard but losing another sister to the same thing is the worst feelings in the world. they both didnt leave a note or even say goodbye to me. I am trying to remain strong but at night i really feel like taking my own life and joining them! but i dont want to take the easy way out! so anybody out there who wants to kill themselves think about all the people u will hurt and all the people that do love you. If my sisters knew how much pain I was in everyday and, how much i’m hurt and very  depressed over them they would still be here.
9 comments
Have nothing clever to say but I listened.
This just sucks! So much so that I am posting to this blog for the first time in a couple of years – and I’m not sure if I ever even posted when I first started reading here in 2009.
Anyway, I’m not going to try to dissuade you from suicide or towards it. And, though I feel for what your Mom is experiencing, your next choices have to be about YOUR life.
Have you run across a place called suicidegrief.com yet? They can’t help you with suicide, but you’ll find folks like yourself there, including siblings who have lost multiple loved ones to suicide.
Sorry you’re hurting!
well very sorry that is tragic to say the least yeah to much pain forget being no.3, that would be to much for any mother to endure and you won’t join them or be with them anyways.there gone your not so stick around.
yea im sticking around gotta be strong im still here that means something! but thanks for ur respond
jledwards23,
everyone thinks like this sooner or later everyone! when you do don’t let the fact that your sisters did and it’s ok. it’s not ok for everybody. are you hearing me?
me too
I mean i listened
thanks for reaching out and i’ve never heard of that website but i’m going to check it out thanks 😉
And yes i know it was not ok what they did. Igotta lead a better example and live for them! thanks for the advice it really helps