my life is one that i have come to consider utterly pointless. i never finished school (due to vicious bullying) so had no qualifications. my depression stopped me from completing collage courses that i have tried three times to do. i am considered unemployable due to my lack of qualifications and experience, so i’ve never had a job.
i cant even get a job scrubbing shit off toilets
so for the past 4 years i have been confined to a house that i share with my partner. i haven’t a friend in the world. (mostly due to the fact that my partner is a jealous shit who doesnt want me talking to anyone and tells me i am ugly and worthless) the only time i leave the house is to get the food shopping. my relationship is also one of complete dissatisfaction, especially in the bedroom. i cant even muster up the strength to have sex. my libido is non existent.
all i can see in front of me is spending the next god knows how many years stuck in a house day in day out on my own, no friends no skills no life. just me and my thoughts. so really when you think about it, whats the fucking point in me being here. i will never amount to anything.
time to give up i think
theres no point in wasting the earths precious oxygen on a waste of space like me
3 comments
You could try getting your GED, instead of trying to go through college courses. I also suggest trying to get away from your partner, he/she doesn’t sound like they are the kind of person you should waste your time with.
I get the lack of energy to do whatever, to study, to even move. I wish I could tell you how to get pass that, but I haven’t quite figured it out myself.
I want to tell you : YOU DESERVE BETTER.
Even if you tell yourself that you don’t, you really do. Don’t let anyone dictate who you can or cannot talk to, what you cant or cannot do. It’s hard, it took me a while for me to realize that in a past relationship, but you have to know that you don’t deserve to be treated that way. You need to get out of that situation. There has to be a way.
Don’t give up, there has to be something that you can do – a job that doesn’t require qualifications, something like that? And then you’d be able to get enough money to get your own place.. Why don’t you ask around in the grocery store if they need an employee? That way you could start somewhere without your partner raising suspicions..
YOU DESERVE BETTER, don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise.
I’m here if you ever want to talk.
I hope it gets better somehow.
thank you for your reply, i know my problems are nothing compared to the hardships that many people go through but to me they feel like they are weighing me down. i just feel lonely and useless like my life is one of those you look back on and think, what have i done with my life? nothing! i so badly want to achieve something and be someone, and even more so just have a friend to talk to. its loneliness that gets me the most. and my bf has made sure i have no one else to talk to, but being with him is still like being alone as he shows no love or interest.