I’m Just Done

let’s start from the beginning, since im new to this…..

i thought we had a happy family, me, my mom, my dad, and my brother. when i was about six i started to notice things weren’t as great with my family as i thought they were. I was eight years old, when my parents got in a really big fight. i mean i actually thought that , this fight was the end of our family. that was the first night i ever cried myself to sleep. my parents always talk about how they were so happy and shit before i came along and sometimes before my brother. so ever since the age of eight i have felt like a burdon on my family, by the age of 12 i started to believe it.  The past six-8 mouths have been the worst. my family is fighting more then normal cause of my grandma. but at the beginning, i felt like and outcast, like i didnt belong and people would be better of with out me, i still believe it to this day. in october i started cutting myself, i quit for 2 weeks to 1 month, and then i novemeber it came back to haunt me. i stopped in time so all my cuts were heald one my wrists for christmas, so my family could only see the scars and if they asked i said that cat sctrached me, just like when we start basketball in gym and i have to put on a t shirt, my friend saw the cuts when my hand was behind my back, she spun me around and ask if i cut myself, i said no, and had tears in her eyes and her voice sound like she was gonna fall to the ground in tears as she said r u sure…… i said yes im sure, it was just my cat. im such a *****, i cant believe i said that to my bestfriend.

on new years i found out my grandma was in the hospital, she jumped from brantford, to simcoe, to london, to simcoe again.  started cutting again cause idk wht im gonna do without her. then i stopped again, about one month ago i considered my first suicide attempt, i had it all planned out, i had the note writen, i said good bye to a close friend of mine, and he stop me from doing the overdose, ive look down on myself more then ever for not overdosing. a little while ago my dad sat me down at the kicthen table and said grandma has been moved to the fourth floor & i asked him what that ment |& ha said normaly when they move someone to the fourth floor, that means there gonna get moved up to the next. i said thats fine shell just be on the fifth floor, my dad looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, no sweety &  i instantly know what he ment….. there is no fifth floor, i cried and cried that night it was to much for me to take.

then the other morning i woke up and my friend said that people were saying i had sex with a kid and i didnt, and then  on this chicks ask.fm people said “Jennas a whore she would fuck anything with 2 legs or more slutty skank fat ugly slut bag with a dick for a nose and ball sack for a chin”

I’m Just Done