I don’t know what to do anymore.

I have bulimia and two years ago I cut 3 little cuts on my stomach. I’m a 14 year old girl and on terms of being depressed, I’ve managed to keep my actions in check. Something change last night. I got into a fight with my best friend that I have told absolutely everything thing to and he’s been totally supportive but, he just full on changed and was against me and called everything what I did or what I think stupid.  I know that I cut 3 cuts on my stomach 2 years ago but that’s nothing compared to how badly I cut my arm last night, 3 cuts is nothing. I would proudly say that last night was the first real time I cut. I used to think that people would self-harm out of pity but, I learned that people do it out of rage. I always cry and feel so guilty but I didn’t cry once and I don’t feel any bit of guilt. I’m actually proud that I did it because it has truly made me stronger and has pushed me to not only be bulimic but I feel like I can actually starve myself. And right now I can’t trust a soul and I’m relived that I don’t have to deal with anyone’s bullsh!t. My arm might be stinging like a ***** but I honestly don’t give a crap. I’m going to high school this year and I used to be scared and afraid of what people would think of me but right now I don’t give a crap about what anyone thinks because I know I’m the bigger person. I just don’t know what to do from now on and who to tell, or to even tell anyone. Cutting is painful.