Just turned 30 and have been suffering since I was young. It’s as if prior to birth we are put the section of lives that will chronically suffer. I have PTSD, I’m assuming from abuse suffered as a child. I’m intensly suicidal. It is something that comes and goes. But when it comes, it’s harsh and places me soo close to death.
I try to reach out in my own way that won’t land my ass in a psych ward, I just want to be gone.
I beg God, I write to Him to take me to be with Him…to have mercy and forgive my death. I hope He IS an understanding God as all these “christians” say He is.
I’m not gonna tell “my story” it’s been told toooo many times and does not relive me in any way. I don’t blame anyone for my suicidal state of mind, I forgive and want to continue to forgive. I’m just done with life, hurt, the crying, the panic attacks in the middle of the night, the isolation….