Rejection

I’m not much of a sharer and I’ll probably never share with someone one on one but I feel death haunts me now daily and no one sees how depressed and suicidal I’m getting because I have a way of putting on a mask at the time and look the happiest and I held on to chancr of relationships and love but the girls I’ve loved, liked or simply pursued have the same conclusion harsh rejection. Jay just made me feel like shit and now the voices say I should jump the bridge or let my veins bleed out or buy a nine and go blow. I’m looking for any excuse to hold on to life. Alcohol is keeping me company tonight but at some point I know I’m gonna crack and spill my own blood. And everyone will be like what happened and the a mask will finally be off.