Hi Guys,
Phew the finals are finally done 😀 but of course not my life…. Or my problems… I just… It’s so difficult right now… Just not being able to cry, but so emotionally drained and I just want to be done. I just want all of my problems go away, but no. I have too many. Well… I’m 13. A girl a female a gal whatever you want to call me. And I have been talking to this 16 year old guy. It’s not a romantic relationship, no it’s a friendship, but at the age of 13 you aren’t supposed to be talking to 16 year old guys, you aren’t supposed to befriending them. And I have been keeping it a secret for a while, but then my sister found out and now she’s threatening me to tell my mom and I want to tell my mom myself, but it’s so hard. How do you tell your mother that you are talking to a boy? even worse a boy that’s three years older than you… I don’t want to keep it a secret, but I just don’t know how… I just want to end it all. End the pain. End the problems. My life. My day was good until my sister threatened me and now I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do… Please help if you can…
Here’s a poem:
When will I get unstuck?
When will it go away?
Can’t someone love me?
Just for a day?
When can I be myself?
When will I be free?
Can’t you say you care?
But I guess you can’t see
You are hurting me
Physically
Mentally
I’m breaking down
You don’t know it
But you are
You are making me
Want to die
You don’t love me
Like a big sister should
You don’t care
Like a big sister should
Au Demain
89 comments
You’re not meant to be talking to strange people on suicide sites at 13 either.
And what if it’s the only thing that is keeping me alive?
Talking to a 16 year old boy, one that you aren’t even shagging, at 13, isn’t all that bad.
I don’t think it’s possible to protect yourself from the world without becoming a hermit, buying a greenhouse and growing your own vegetables. As long as you don’t end up owning a greenhouse, you’re doing ok.
Yes I don’t think its bad, but how can you tell your parents that you, the girl that grew up loving Disney, the girl that’s innocent, the girl that focuses on studies, not boys, the girl that’s naive is talking to a 16 year old guy?
LetitGO, so good to read your words again today! As far as the boy is concerned i can not judge his heart. However, i think you need to tell your mother a lot of things, the boy being a very small part of a large and indepth conversation. As always we are here for you too! So is you mom!
Thank you OnlyLOVEisReal. I’ll try to keep you updated 😛 I guess I should, but I’m just so awkward with these things. With talking about them. I mean I can’t just go up and say “Oh yeah Mom I’ve been talking to a guy for the past few months, but I haven’t told you and oh yeah he’s 16,” and just leave… I’m just so stuck.. Stuck in this hell of a reality.
Huh? I remember crushing on a nice 16-year-old when I was 13 (he looked like a guy from this punk band I liked). Well, then he moved away, and then I developed another hopeless crush on an athletic 15-year-old. Anyway, my point is that there is nothing to worry about, as long as he doesn’t try to take advantage of you or force you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
LetitGo, that isn’t hell. You are in the midst of life! You should start you conversation with your mom with something like…..Mom i love you very much and what i am about to tell you i need your help with, i need you to stay calm and level headed as i ask you for help as i am struggling with the challenges of life. Sometimes these challenges get me very down……and the 16 year old boy into the conversation in about 3 hours into the conversation.
Rojas! You’re back
No no no no no this is NOT a romantic relationship… It’s more of an amazing friendship that will never turn into a romantic relationship… I just don’t know how to tell my parents about it…
You could always not tell her. And then when your sister goes to tell your mom, deny it to the grave and tell your mom that she’s full of shit, and that she’s the one talking to a 16 year old.
Yeah I’m back. Got out today.
Never is a word that should be banned from your vocabulary. try…..highly unlikely, instead.
But. My mom and I don’t have a good relationship. I don’t know how to tell her these things. I’ve never had to. I jut want to be unstuck.
I guess I could, but I’d feel so bad lying to her.
They let you out huh? Hope you haven’t become institutionalised
Why would your mom care? He’s a nice boy isn’t he? She shouldn’t worry about a nice boy.
Hola Rojas.
What you on?
Yeah, but my mom has never met him… He goes to a different school… And I’m just so terribly afraid.
he is a lesson on never……Lying is highly unlikely to ever help you, when the lie you stand on crumbles it hurts when you are stopped by the ground. to add to this now people doubt your word because you lie…..the pain continues, only worse
I know it does, but I’m just afraid of what will come.
Do you tell your parents when you skip school, spend your lunch money on booze and cigarettes and hang out behind the bike sheds. No, of course not. It’s part of growing up. Even your parents did it once.
Lying always helps.
How did you meet him? And have you met him in person?
I met him through his exgirlfriend (well ex now… they were dating when I met him) and I haven’t, but we have skyped and yeah
How much money did your parents give you for lunch if you could afford booze and cigarettes?
First off I don’t skip school. Second off I don’t have lunch money I pack my own lunch. So I don’t have the lunch money to spend on stupid stuff like booze and cigarettes. And third off please go you are not helping anything at all.
I DO NOT SMOKE OR DRINK FOR LOKI’S SAKE. JEEZ.
Aw, don’t be mean to Aesop. He’s trying to help in his own way. (He didn’t imply that you smoked or whatever, he’s speaking from his own experiences.)
LetitGo, do not fear of what might be keep you from living life. tell the truth to your mom. you never carry a burden with speaking the truth.
Oh but I do. I carry a big burden. Always no matter what.
well he really isnt helping the situation
I feel like my advice was the best.
But its not.
Aesop operates on his own frequency. He’s O.K.
That’s why I said I “feel”.
What???
Well right now that’s not what I need.
is that because you believe you should? Do you punish yourself with burdens? With the truth, i would say that is who you are, say it with conviction, and let life run its course. Don’t answer my questions if you don’t want, they are more for self reflection. Plus, they are not asked out of contempt or with judgement.. I want you on the road of happiness, someday soon
Yeah I feel like its the right thing to do. I punish myself either way. I’m more afraid of the aftermath. The questions the glares the unexpected the things I don’t know.
Buying weed was much easier than getting other intoxicants when I was 13. I had to steal booze and cigarettes from the corner store back then. *sigh* The good ole days.
LetItGo, if you haven’t met this fellow in person yet, and he’s not gonna show up at your house to play Wii with you, do you have to tell your mother? I made a point of not mentioning my friends or romantic interests to my parents unless absolutely necessary. I didn’t need to lie, they didn’t ask.
But MY SISTER KNOWS. SHE IS THREATENING ME WITH THAT INFORMATION.
Buying weed is still easier.
Please just go, you are not making this easier. You are not helping.
Tell your mom she’s bullshitting. Clear your internet history and your skype history. Sister hasn’t got shit on you.
Try to calm down LetItGo. Can you find something to blackmail your sister with? This always worked for me when my siblings gave me trouble.
There is nothing…
JUST STOP, YOU AREN’T HELPING. GO. NOW. LEAVE.
School days were the best. I could get any kind of contraband. The shop by the school used to sell us singles for 20p. Good times.
Is your mom overprotective? Do you think she’d freak out that you are Skyping with people you haven’t met in person?
PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT DRUGS AND DRINKING. YOU ARE NOT HELPING. I HAVE ASKED YOU NUMEROUS TIMES TO LEAVE, SO PLEASE GO.
Just curious. How old is your sister? And do you have other siblings? And are you parents together? I know…nosy. But I have a reason for asking.
Love and Light
Ama
Why don’t you just explain to your parents and say ‘what do you think?’ After it’s out in the open, it’ll all blow over and eventually you’ll be able to do what you want.
My sister is 15. I do not. And yes they are.
No I won’t. It will never be normal either way
Next nosy question. Does your sister get in trouble a lot? Does she have boyfriends?
Again…there is a reason I ask.
Letitgo, Tell your mom the truth, do not enter the arena at a lower level. Tell her the truth and be proud of yourself. You have nothing to hide. Look at all the effort involved with the lies and deceit others are suggesting. then you have to maintain the lies. Tell the truth, the truth is you and you should not hide the true you from the world
Ama,you are too good of a person to suggest anything of a get even plot. I know i read your comments on other posts
Peace and love
Nope. She doesn’t. The only time she gets in trouble is annoying me, which is typical for sisters, and nope she doesn’t.
But how?!?!?
I think the reason why LetItGo is hesitant is that she fears being prevented from continuing her friendship with this guy. That’s honestly a valid concern. Parents can be extremely unpleasant at times.
I never thought about that. But yes I am afraid of that too. Because he’s the person I can go to. The person that comforts me.
Aesop’s Fables, please my friend, respect Letitgo’s post. if you would like to talk about your challenges in life feel free to email me. I would be honored to listen.
Well…if she is annoying you…then she is jealous of you for some reason. I was hoping it was as simple as you being the “perfect” one.
I’d like to offer you some advice…but I don’t know your story…I don’t know your background, beliefs etc. So the best advice I can offer is this.
Go back and read your own post…pretend that your best friend that you love dearly wrote the post. How would you advise your friend?
Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.
Love and Light
Ama
I just. I just don’t know how.
Where did you think I was going with my questions? Seriously? hahaha
Sometimes you just have to understand the family dynamic…I have loads more nosy questions. haha
Love and Light
Ama
haha its fine
Sorry…ooops….my last comment was for OLIR. Aren’t I the lazy one?
School Daze?
Oh it’s fine.
Holding all this in doesn’t make the core issue go away. By the way it sounds The Good Boy may be in your life for an extended period, do you really want to carry this around with you? That is why you need to have a real long talk with mom, and with all the other heavy feelings on the table, you indroduce The Good Boy into the conversation with……and these are the reason why Good Boy is in my life, he is filling a dark void with understanding and compassion
Yes, but I’m not good with long talks.
Well…ahem. I have 2 daughters of my own. I have a very open line of communication with them…if they have questions…or get in trouble. One is 17..the other 33. I know. But there are some things a mother doesn’t want to know. If your sister is threatening you…there is a reason…but it is her reason.
In the end….you should not be talking to your friend’s ex. That is disloyal. End of conversation. And boys of 16 who are skyping innocent 13 year old girls…are just looking to get their own ego stroked…amongst other things. If you have nothing to hide…then don’t let your sister threaten you. If you do have something to hide…then clean up your act or come clean. Those are your only two options…yes?
Peace
But she’s fine with me talking to him. And it’s not a romantic relationship. See? And boys of 16 who are skyping innocent 13 year old girls…are just looking to get their own ego stroked…amongst other things. That is why I don’t want to tell my mom.
LetitGo, You seem to be doing alright over the past few days here
@Ama, i was just stating what i knew to be true by the way people here look up to you and the great words you write
@Aesop’s fables my apologies, my comment was directed to rojas
I know I have, but its finals week and my sister and *sigh*
Finals week at 13? What?
I’m in eighth grade. I have finals.
Mom could have some very practical advise from here own experiences in life. However, being a male of that age once…….But i am messsed up, i can not judge what is in that boys heart. But mom could be a good mediator. she can probably read the stitches on a fast ball in this field
Yes I know this. BUT HOW CAN I TELL HER.
I say just go on with your life. Leave the decision up to your sister. Talk to your mother about it if and when the need arises.
Bottom line…I understand the titillation of having a boy’s attention at your age. I also understand the natural curiousity about boy’s. As long as it remains online and he doesn’t ask you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable…I am sure there is no harm. You seem to be able to put grown men in their place easily…sorry guys…and that is admirable and speaks of a strong character.
And just in case…. circle, circle, dot, dot…now you’ve had your cootie shot ! 😀
Love and Light
Ama
Haha I like the circle, circle, dot, dot… now you’ve had your cootie shot 😛 and thanks. I think that’s what’s going to happen.
Your welcome Kitten. The little girl downstairs gave me one of those when my boyfriend came over one day. I laughed so hard. Good thing she didn’t see me kiss him. eeek
I am 52 after all.
So do you have some time off school for a few days now? Oh yeah…and if you really want to twist your sister…just act aloof and unconcerned…as my mother says….nice em to death. ahaha
Good Luck
Love and Light
Ama
Hehe, that’s hilarious. I do. I have Friday – Sunday off now. I guess, but what if she does tell her?
Well if you have nothing to hide…then show her. If you do …see the above comment about deleting history etc….and prayer sometimes helps. jk 😀
What I really want to know….what are you trying to avoid by obsessing about this issue? hmmm? Take the weekend…have fun…you deserve it. Oh yeah…and quit worrying. She won’t say “Off with her head!” no matter what you do. Bottom line…your Mom loves you. So if she brings it up? You say:
Oh good…I didn’t know how to bring this up…so I’m glad you’re asking. I really wanted your opinion about this. And then the conversation will just happen. Nothing to worry about. I promise.
Peace Little One
Ama
Hehe okay. Thanks for your help. I think I’ll let her come to me…
Still alive here … The bullets got wet… Anyway. Boys at that age want to get laid… period. I’m a man I can say this for sure. Watch yourself. Young girls like yourself do tell yourself shit all the time. Frankly as a young adult with semi recent experience in this field I can say for sure you are ignorant . The male sex drive is insatiable in a pubecent boy. He thinks about it every 5 minutes and just because you aren’t interested doesn’t mean he isn’t. Sex is a female resource. Young men will say and do anything to get in your pants. Fact…. Also he could be gay. The likely hood of him just wanting friends is about a 1in 50 chance. Also dont you dare use that guy as your emotinal pin coushion. You do that and he will think you are interested. Women and women do that as friends. men do not. Only boyfriends play that role in men and woman relations. Anyway good luck… Now off to find some dry bullets.
^this