Dignified grave. dont mind if I – I’m depraved
If vou stand there, dont look me in the face
Tongue stick and open eyes that show no tone with capillaries sick and hangin’ body that gave a haunted tone. I awoke from last night after bitter attempts simulated in the brain and found mvself feelin so damn alone, that last night’s dream crept into the day and theres not a lot to say about it. I’m aching, and all I got was to feel a way about it. Two tries, two attempts made from believe, and nothing could come after that of which the mind doesnt mortallv see, I felt it, phantom breath of life breathed out of me, like my whole damn soul had been slipping and it was an unsettling dream. I hung and my brain tried to kill me, unconsciously.
…
After that, i got in my noose and gave it a few practice runs… i found that even partially blocking my carotid causes a relaxed heavy feeling? I guess because it stimulates the vagus and makes the heart rate drop causing muscle tone loss. Once i felt that i stood up and released myself. I feel confident ill succeed when im ready. Youll all be my in my heart. Im new here and ive been reading new and old. Youre all a piece of me now. Thank you for the connection this site has given me through reading. I feel it can be positve.
Here’s some songs that are with me:
1. The Angel – Ministry https://youtu.be/8zRCDO-NZLA?si=10yCXR9qUIDWZKDw
2. Warlock – Skinny Puppy https://youtu.be/axsrOmLZOUA?si=-b5NzDK5NkLClvvs
3. Love to be Loved – Peter Gabriel https://youtu.be/AqkTyMMEpHo?si=1HDO20QQ8txBiRZD