Surving Hell

I’ve thought about it many times, especially those sleepless nights, the drum beating inside the dark recess of my mind.

After the first attempt of 12 pills, then 24 pills, I decided to wake up and attend college both times I woke up from those failures.

I’ve been reading up a lot about Buddhism and about reincarnation or rebirth, and I was wondering and contemplated.

With everything that I’ve been through, and for me to cut my life short thinking that hell would probably be a better place to be in I realized, if I cop out now I’ll probably have to go through this entire experience again, best if I overcome all the torment and pain and see if there is such bliss on the other side. There’s nothing too lose. It can’t be any worse than not seeing my first born child to hell with this fate that I’ve been given, I’m going to have to grit it through, if I can survive hell on earth I’m sure I’ll be rewarded to a better plane of existence and I’m not talking about heaven, I’m talking about the reward for a better mind set.