At the age of 17 after signing paper to come to kicking horse job corps in Montana. I had a break down. remember that I have PTSD, I had a psychotic break down. this is honestly that hardest part of my life Its hard for me to tell people. but here it goes. I had a psychotic break down I was homicidal and suicidal. I showed up at my moms not(best friends mom and his house) house. She wasn’t feeling good. she was feeling sick that day. She looked at me and asked if I was okay. all I could manage was a head shake saying no. She asked if I was going to do something stupid. I looked at her and then looked at the floor, then looked back at her. Then I said no ma’am im not okay. She said grab all your things out of your truck Nae. I grabbed all my things my school supplies   everything. I walked back in and looked at her. She then tells me I am taking you to the emergency room and we are going to involuntary put you in a mental hospital so you can get the medication and the help you need. I didn’t call my parents until that night around 2 am. I called from the hospital, saying mom I am voluntarily signing myself in to a mental hospital, I am not safe by myself, I need the help. She started crying. I felt bad that I hide so much from her for almost 18 years.  I got the help that I needed from the mental hospital and I am now on medication for PTSD, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, mood disorder. People that my life wasn’t hard. it wasn’t hard but it was a tough life that I lived. I am now on the medication that I need to be on. I am now engaged to the love of my life whose has two kids. I am a female who lived through hell and got what she wanted at the end. I am engaged with two “step kids” I never call them my step kids bc I treat them as my own. I am planning on marrying My girl sometime this summer. There is hope for all the people out there that are going through the same or different thing as all of us out here. Suicide is hard, I’ve lost and saved some lives from suicide, by being their friend, by listening, by helping them get help they need. Don’t give up on life. don’t give up hope that there is no help out there. there is help out there. It may hard asking for help. I never wanted to ask for help but here I am thanks for the time that I showed up at my moms not house, not asking for help, but wanting help. she saw through my lies and saw that I needed help. Everybody that’s going through thoughts of suicide. that need somebody to talk to email me at cowgirlupheartandsoul@gmail.com. This is coming from a young lady who survived suicide attempts, who went through being raped twice, through drug abuse, through being abused. yes Im finally happy again but it took talking to somebody and getting the help that I need.
16 comments
Even though I don’t believe in the gay lifestyle, I’m glad you finally got the help you needed. Good to see you trying to help others.
the guy who thinks being fat is an abominable quality is also a homophobe?? no way
sir with the dumb truck avatar, please pack up your pity party supplies and hit the door on the way out
I’m sorry, I don’t speak alien. =)
im not speaking alien, you just dumb as fuck
You’re* or you are. Thanks for proving to me I’m not alone. ;]
The great thing here is that this lady has found a woman who she loves and is loved in return, she now has 2 children and a family life of caring for each other; this is from someone with a most difficult of pasts; I’m so pleased for her.
I as well. I’m happy for her.
woah, you got me :O i obviously didnt mean to articulate it like that
Is a homophobe someone who discriminates against homophones? Or would that be homophonophobia? 😕 For a moment, I thought homophone meant a gay telephone, but then realized what a homophonophobic mistake that was.
Are we done? I’m in no way shame or form having any pity party. I did not cheat on my gf. And I do not intend to. I was simply asking if anyone has been in that situation where you’ve been in a relationship and have had someone come along and throw you for a loop. So enough with following me around talking shit.
woah, man, i didn’t ask you for your life story. I just don’t tolerate pieces of shit aka homophobes. An alternative site I would suggest for you is bash-your-head-against-a-wall-10times-then-jump-into-a-pit-of-tar dot com
I have friends who are gay. I have no problem with them as a person. I just don’t believe in their lifestyle. So because I don’t agree with their lifestyle, you’re going to bash me. Great logic you have there. And I never told you my life story. You brought up yesterdays post, not me. If you don’t like me, I hate it for you. I’m not leaving the site. If you don’t like that, maybe you can leave. Although I do not wish for you to. Let’s just agree to disagree. I’m done here. And if you want to waste your time with yet another reply, be my guest. I won’t be on this post again.
Do your gay friends know you disagree with their lifestyle, it would make it difficult for them to know that, surely; also, although your opinions are you’re own, why disagree with something that make others happy, love is all that matters.
Is where they place their tongues or their wonderwands really considered a lifestyle? I thought it was just a preference in ways to reach orgasm. You know, like how some people like to twist with their left hands, or put candles up their wazoos while standing on their heads? I never understood what the big deal was – people are weird and like strange stuff sometimes, but as a member of a primitive tribe of primates, I have no right to talk. My closest genetic relatives eat their own poo, after all.
Good point, preference is a much better way of putting it.