Tag:

Drug Abuse

Pushing past of the past

by waywardponders 6/5/2016

written by waywardponders

Hi, this is my first time posting. I am up late at night because I am having trouble sleeping. The night before last I attempted to hang myself but it failed. It was more of a test run then a full blown attempt. Not finding success, in the morning, I bought charcoal and a grill to try that method. I assembled the grill, placed it in my car and that is as far as I got. In the end, I am not ready to kill myself, but all the pain and regrets of my past feel like they are killing me slowly and painfully.

I am […]

6/5/2016 4 comments

Surviving Everyday Life

by Owlman 10/26/2015

written by Owlman

I’ve been living with illness all my life. Started with asthma when I was young. 3rd grade I was put into the ICU for an asthma attack. They kept me awake with albuterol and doing arterial sticks every hour. Slightly traumatized me. It continued through high school. Then I developed stomach issues as well as a curve in my spine known as Sherman’s Disease. I started eating ibprophen like it was candy. Pneumonia and bouts of pleurisy followed me through my mid 20’s. In my mid 20’s I developed IBS. The gastro doctor, who is also my fathers, thought I had chrons like my father. […]

10/26/2015 3 comments

so here’s my life story

by Annie 9/15/2015

written by Annie

3 years since i last posted
Hi, I’m Annie, resident fuck up of phoenix arizona. But then again, we do have someone shooting up a highway here (in my honest opinion, i think it’s a part of the gun control movement. Shoot people and make them scared of guns, gets more people to orgasm over gun control.)
I used to post on here all the damn time as a 12-14 year old, I made friends on here that i never kept. It was like our own little community of fucked depressed people.
I don’t know how I remembered this website, but I am glad I […]

9/15/2015 11 comments

There Is No Light

by v.c.333 9/15/2015

written by v.c.333

I have been passively suicidal all my life. I know, some say there is no way, but I remember wanting to die at 7. I was not abused overly much. My dad a little to harsh with corporal punishment. My mom never said I was stupid, but she always gave me a look or used a tone that said I was stupid. I guess she had no patience. idk. I was always depressed. Borderline personality I was told once, but never stuck with therapy. I have had more jobs and sexual encounters than I can remember. I just can’t stick with anything. Then get all […]

9/15/2015 15 comments

A sad story that made it all come back

by The Distress 12/8/2014

written by The Distress

Hi everyone, I used to be a frequently posting member of SP even before the site’s new look and new options with the dash (….which really wasn’t all that long ago guess.) I usually found answers and help here whenever it was sought, but it has been awhile since I have come here to say anything of real pertinence. I am back now because I have a real strong conviction and yearning to commit suicide and stop all of this damaged, irreparable ruinage. I know such things get said over and over on SP’ however it is difficult to go through […]

12/8/2014 1 comment

by E 9/17/2014

written by E

today i came to the conclusion id rather have drug induced states of happiness over no happiness at all. maybe one day it can kill me. at least that way i can die happy. i don’t see it happening any other way.

9/17/2014 9 comments

can you finally see the pain?

by Redneck22 6/9/2014

written by Redneck22

At the age of 17 after signing paper to come to kicking horse job corps in Montana. I had a break down. remember that I have PTSD, I had a psychotic break down. this is honestly that hardest part of my life Its hard for me to tell people. but here it goes. I had a psychotic break down I was homicidal and suicidal. I showed up at my moms not(best friends mom and his house)Â house.Â She wasn’t feeling good. she was feeling sick that day. She looked at me and asked if I was okay. all I could manage was a head shake saying no.Â […]

6/9/2014 16 comments

The Story of A Teenager I Met On The Bridge…..

by The Distress 12/10/2013

written by The Distress

Sunday night I took a walk along a bridge that I like to call Bridge Four in the city of Louisville, which I unfortunately live in. It was dark, cold, snowy, icy, and windy. I was talking along and spotted a kid up along the rail of this bridge: he was peering out into the distance, just watching the dark water below as the currents passed. As I approached closer, thinking that I would just walk by, he spotted me and asked me if I had a cigarette. Now I don’t usually smoke but once a week at the most, but as it would be […]

12/10/2013 3 comments

Welcome back

by LastLove 8/30/2013

written by LastLove

Its been a year since I last posted on this announcing my final day on this god forsaken earth. But as you can see it didn’t go quiet as to plan. I took a large dosage of mixed pills, slit my wrists in a cold bath and awaiting my end, only to wake up a few days later in hospital.

That was a year and 2 days ago now. Surely I should have overcome all of it, but the same problems have snuck up to me and more. When I wrote on this first I was nothing but a teenage wreck, living in the bit of […]

8/30/2013 2 comments

Just a little ramble.

by The_Voice_Inside 4/8/2013

written by The_Voice_Inside

Depression hits us all, I think. There’s not a single person I have spoken to that hasn’t felt it’s clammy hands around their soul. It seems to be caused by many things, from big life changing events, to small things that just build up and knock a person off their feet eventually. Â I’ve had it time and and time again, but usually managing to shake it off like a wet dog. Â This time however, it’s crippled me.

I’ve seen death burn through a families hope, I’ve felt that pain. I got through it.
I’ve felt theÂ devastationÂ of a loved one no longer loving you. I got through […]

4/8/2013 2 comments

General Information

by Ana 2/17/2013

written by Ana

Hi I’m Ana.

I made an account because this site looked interesting, and I’ve been suicidal for a long time. So while I’m here, I just thought I’d give you some general information about myself.

-I’m 15 years old, and more mature than a lot of teenagers my age.

-Female

-I’m insecure about a lot of things, but one thing about myself is that I’m damn well proud of my body.

-I’m easily angered.

-I don’t share a lot of personally information.

Disorders, Hospitalizations, Self-harm History

Disorders

(None of these have been self-diagnosed)

Mood Disorder (most likely bi-polar)

Anxiety Disorder

SexualÂ Re-activityÂ Disorder

Anorexia Nervosa

2/17/2013 9 comments

Fuck. My. (So-Called). Life.

by cocoblair 2/3/2013

written by cocoblair

Everyone’s annoying and out to get you. Your friends are disrespectful and unappreciative little cunts who don’t give a shit about what you’re going trough (the only reason they ask ,,what’s wrong” is purely curiosity) and the people around you stopped appreciating you a long time ago.Â

You’re an ugly little ***** who no guy will ever date, fuck or marry.

You’re not doing well in school or work ergo you deserve to die because you’re a useless member of this society.Â

By wanting to kill yourself, talking about depression and anxiety, having anger fits and complaining makes you either boring or a scary individual that nobody wants […]

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2/3/2013 2 comments

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adventures in dope dealing

by tphg 7/13/2012

written by tphg

I’ve never let anyone in close enough to see the ugliness inside. Last summer, my dad came the closest after some emotional emails I’d sent him. He drove the 6 hours to my city and spent the week taking me out to dinner and talking, trying to figure out what was wrong. But I burned him like I’ve done everyone else.

I burned my grandmother when I told her to stop talking to me. I burned my co-workers when I took up the vow of silence at the office. I burned my father by never replying to any of his follow up emails after we had […]

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7/13/2012 4 comments

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update

by allyy 4/22/2012

written by allyy

well ive been with this amazin guy for 1 year, 5 months, nd 1 week.. evryday i feel soo grateful for havin him.. nd hez fixed the problems i had wit my family.. he evn helped me thru the pain ofÂ the past 15 yrs of physical abuse ive suffered.. nd evrythin is perfect.. my grades culd use a little help.. other than dat, evrythin is perfect. but wen im alone.. all those thoughts of suicide nd alcohol nd drug abuse come rushin thru my head.. nd i feel like im abt to fall over nd jst pass out.. i get light headed nd feel a […]

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4/22/2012 0 comment

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Am I a worthless failure or am I a victim

by Kyledubs 3/31/2012

written by Kyledubs

Well geez…. i dont even know where to start. My parents fought since i was little. My sister would cover my ears so i wouldnt hear it. We moved to ohio in the 4th grade from Sacramento and i attended a private school. I was made fun of for being hyper as well as colorblind, being asked if i was retarded or gothic because i like black so i quickly learned to shut the fuck up and keep out of the spotlight. I transferred to public school in 7th grade and it was better but still not good but I guess all the suicide nonsense […]

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3/31/2012 2 comments

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tick/tock

by subvertedstateofdystopia 2/28/2012

written by subvertedstateofdystopia

This is a first. I’m sitting in the dark, if it weren’t for the glow of my phone’s screen. Pathetic, is it not? The age we live in. Specifically 4:46am in the wilderness that is upstate New York. This place is devoid of all things meant to nourish – as a life long denizen it’s cruel atmosphere is taking it’s harsh toll on me. Too many thoughts, too many restless nights….the cold air has entered my mentality and is stifling all that may prosper. I lay here contemplating attempt #3. I have given up yet again. It’s been 6 years since […]

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2/28/2012 1 comment

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How It All Began

by CJ 7/29/2009

written by CJ

My thoughts of suicide started when I was 13 years old.

Â I made a friend through a connection with another friend, and she was awesome (at first). I found out a month into our friendship that she did drugs. I encouraged her to stop, but since she was 5 years older than me she was too self- absorbed to listen. So, one night she slept over my house, and curiosity got the best of me, and I tried the drugs. It was… wonderful, to say the least. So more ‘sleepovers’ were planned afterwards. If I can recall correctly, it was about the third time she slept […]

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7/29/2009 4 comments

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