I’ve always liked that song. My time here on earth is almost up. I have only a few items that remain on my checklist. Throughout this process the only regrets I have is never being in love, never having a child of my own, and not being around to see my nieces and nephews grow up. I’m not afraid of dying. I thought I would be but I realized that fear was based on religious beliefs and on the uncertainty of whether I would be successful in my suicide attempt. I’ve decided not to fret about either what is meant to be will be. I moved several states away from my family I knew my life would end in suicide and I didn’t want any of them to be forced into the position of finding me dead. Now when it happens they’ll just get a phone call. Writing letters to my nieces and nephews will be the hardest part of this process. I know what I want to say but I don’t want to forget anything. They’re young they won’t understand now but one day they will read my letter and hopefully they will grasp how much I truly love them and they’ll forgive me for my choice to die.
7 comments
huge regret of mine was never having children. I fell in love but more than anything I want a little rugrat running around with my amazing DNA and pass on my bloodline. that would be ideal. I’m guna guess judging from the size of your regret that you’re in your mid 20s maybe early 30s. if that’s the case u can still make those regrets of yours realities. lots of time to get knocked up by the yet to reveal himself love of your life. keep your eyes and legs open (;
I’ve planned my suicide for a few days from now. No time to make babies. Time is up. I wouldn’t be a good mother I’m too damaged and I’d never put a child through that hell. I’m 35.
I’m sorry 🙁 You sound like a really caring person too. I wish you didn’t feel like this, but if you truly want to die please don’t leave anything to God or fate because if you’re partially successful you could end up 10x worse with the likes of an anoxic brain injury.
You are still so young and you have nieces and nephews. Won’t you regret not being around to see all of the milestones in their lives? But I also know how you feel. My biggest regret is not having children. Unfulfilled desires cause me so much pain that it has become almost impossible to get through the day. I also don’t want to be here anymore, but I’m too fearful to do anything to myself (yet). My latest thought is to hang out in the bad part of town and hope I catch a stray drive-by bullet.
Tomorrow…Fathers Day is the day. Its time for the suffering to end.
Please?? mommapuddin@aol.com…you can at least add me as a friend? can I at least talk to you?
I hope you’re still here because even when everything inside you feels broken to the point where you can’t deal with anymore there is always hope that tomorrow might be better.
One day at a time.