Die for anyone what have I become..

Why did I have to end up right here in this place? I am a very cold person now, I mean in order for me to show any type of care and love I have to really really love a person. Generally I’m cold and uncaring and distant and I get annoyed by people a lot. I actually like being alone for the most part, I kind of drag when I have to go out with people. Times like right now I just look at my life and wonder what happened, what did I do so wrong that I’ve reached this point? That i’m this cold person, lonely person who’s dark inside, I feel like a fucked up person. I don’t want anyone to love me or care about me because I would hate to hurt them. But where I am right now thats exactly what would happen, all I know is that life is depressing school is depressing all of it means nothing. I want to love life again I want to have hopes and dreams I want happiness. But I lost all of that the moment my eyes were opened and I saw the cruel reality that is life. It truly doesn’t matter how good of a person you try to be because people will still use and abuse you life will still screw you over. Ughhhhhh I don’t know just a bunch of random depressing thoughts…