I’ve explained it over and over and over again, but I guess I’ll do it again.
I messaged my best friends ex last night, just to talk, and we were all close, and have been through shit. and every time i would say something he’d just say “bye” but after she messaged him, he started being nice to me and talking to me. For some reason it made me feel like complete shit. Like i didn’t matter, until she mattered. I felt worthless. I started crying, and ended up having an anxiety attack.
I was holding that blade so close to my skin, telling myself I couldn’t cut. “I can’t! I can’t…” I went out to the living room where my dad was sleeping and i sat next to him while he was sleeping just crying. and then he woke up and talked to me. I cried for 3 hours straight. I ended up falling asleep on the floor, and I woke up screaming and crying and i ran to my room and started freaking out and breaking stuff and then i stopped and fell to the ground crying. My dad couldn’t stop me. He tried, and it’s like I couldn’t hear him. He brought me to the Crisis Center, and i ended up coming back home.
I’ve never acted like this. Which is the scary part.
What’s happening to me?