Ever feel like everything would be okay if you could just climb out of your skin and be the person you were meant to be? I think that I would have been an okay person. Not a Nobel Prize winner, but okay. I’m tired of pretending that I’m okay, tired of wondering what people would think if they knew what was really in my head. My husband deserves a better wife, and my son deserves a better mother, they deserve that person i could have been.
I’ve tried explaining the intrusive thoughts from OCD to someone, they made some awkward joke about OCD and clean hands. Funny funny, I don’t wash my hands, I have mental horror movies that start up at random and im cast as the monster in all of them. I wish I could wash my hands of that but I can’t. I’m so damned tired.
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I feel like I’m being pretty repetitive here but you actually can climb out of your skin and be the person you sense that you were meant to be. You can be reborn into a new life without the need for physical death. I know because I have done it. I am 52 and was severely manic depressive for nearly my entire adult life. I was thrown on the scrapheap of life but now I’m giving psychiatry the finger. Total recovery from even very severe mental health problems is possible but you have to want it very badly and go after it with every bit of determination and resourcefulness you can muster.