Okay, so I know this is probably seen time and time after again. Some poor sap crying about how sad they are about their relationship issues. And normally I would be one of those people who would be quick to call the person out on their drama, but idk, its different for me. I’ve recently started coming out of the closet. I’m a guy btw. My parents were supportive. I’ve told a couple friends and they’ve been supportive. I’ve been dating this guy for the last 7 months and have fallen head over heals in love with him. He is so special to me. He’s the first guy to ever make me okay with who I am. He’s helped me accept that its okay for me to be gay. However, he’s still in the closet and doesn’t plan on coming out anytime soon. Or ever for that matter. To add to the difficulties in our situation, he lives 45 minutes away and has a very busy college schedule and so do I. So it makes it rather difficult for us to see each other. My worst fears came true today when he told me he doesn’t want to do this anymore. It was out of the blue. I wasn’t expecting it. I thought we were happy. He says he loves and cares about me, but he just doesn’t want to be in a relationship. I feel like my world is ending. I know that sounds really dramatic, but I don’t know a better way to describe it. I was going to go away for college but decided to stay home so I could be closer to him. I changed my whole life for him and it was all for nothing. I don’t know what to do now. I have no motivation to do anything. I don’t want to hurt. I don’t want to have to get over him. I just want to disappear. I don’t want to kill myself. The thought of it embarrasses me. And I don’t want to put the people that love me through the pain of that. I just wish there was a way for me to cease to exist. The idea of that sounds nice. I just want to be gone. I don’t want for things to get better. I just want the pain to stop.
2 comments
what was your orginal plan?
just revert.
the fling was fun.
move on
That sounds really tough. But a broken heart, like other wounds, will heal with time.
This time must be really tough and you must feel pretty terrible, but it will subside in time.
But you will definitely meet someone else. It’s very rare for people to spend the rest of their lives with their first love. A lot of people go through this too and they come out of it okay after a while.
Just take a break for a while and start planning what you want to do with your life now. Do you want to go to college? Do you want to get a job? Now is the time to start thinking about those things. Then, you can begin searching for love after your heart has healed.