I hate my new life

So, up until about 6 months ago, I had a pretty ok life.  Had a good paying job, owned a nice house, had great friends and neighbors and a pretty active social life.  At the time, I didn’t realize how good it was.  I sure do now.

My in-laws used to live about an hour from us but about 15 years ago, decided to move to some tiny little hillbilly town in Alabama.   My husband, being the poster child for “Mama’s Boy” has been begging me ever since they left to move there.  He said it was quiet and pretty and wanted a less complicated life; less crime, less traffic, slower…  I absolutely refused at first.  But, as time went on, and my job got more stressful and crime in our town started escalating, I thought it might not be such a bad idea.  So, 6 months ago I agreed to move.  We put our house on the market, packed all our belongings, said goodbye to all our friends and all of my family (including my son, who is in college) and move to Alabama.

My husband actually moved up there a few weeks before me to find a job and a place for us to live.  He had no luck on either.  I stayed behind to finish up at my job and to get everything else ready for the move.  I started looking for a job a few weeks before I moved and had very little luck finding anything.  I thought that maybe it was just the fact that I was still in Florida that discouraged would be employers.  I should have known better.  We planned on renting an apartment with the money from the sale of our house, but with no jobs, no one would rent to us.   My husband had been staying with his parents while he was waiting for me to move, and since we had nowhere else to go, we both ended up living with them, in their tiny 2 bedroom house, for nearly 3 months.  We went out job hunting every day, and spent every evening on the computer, applying for every job opening I could find.  At first, I had really high expectations of finding an accounting job in the same salary range I had in Florida, but after 2 months with no success, I lowered my expectations and applied for anything I could find that was less than an hour drive from where we lived, including cashier at some retail and food places.  The depression was setting in hard.

After 3 months, I was offered an office job, completely outside of my field, and making less than half what I was making at my last job, but I took it anyway.  The job is so boring I want to cry every time I have to go to work and the lady that I work with must be bipolar, because I never know what kind of mood she is going to be in when I get there.  At least we were able to move out of my in-laws house, into a crappy little apartment that costs a fortune.

My husband got a job working for one of the auto manufacturers here, about 45 minutes from our apartment, which is great, but has to work a rotating shift, every two weeks.  Every two weeks, he has to be at work at either 7am, 2pm or 10pm.  Needless to say, this sucks!  Out of a 6 week schedule, I actually only get to see him a few days because he is either at work when I am home, or sleeping.   He loves the job and really planned to make a career out of it, so this is pretty much how it is going to be for the rest of our lives.

I am so lonely and so depressed I don’t know what to do.  I have no family, no friends, and no life here.  I’ve tried to join some groups but everything here revolves around church here, and that is just not my thing.  I spend all day alone in my office and then come home to an empty apartment and spend all night alone too.  I drive home and wish that I would just get hit by a semi-truck or have a massive heart attack so I wouldn’t be so miserable anymore.

To top it off, I just found out that my son will not be able to come visit me for Christmas, as planned.  I have a HUGE family and really look forward to seeing all of them for the holidays.  This year, I get to sit in my apartment all alone and cry.   I just want to die!