Does anyone else have conversations with people who are long gone?
I mean, I’m doing it all the time now. I’m not even thinking up the other side of the conversation in my head, it just comes out, reply after reply after reply to ghosts. To an outsider listening to me, they’d assume I was just on the phone.
I’ve had different variations of the last fight I ever had with him. Versions where I was on the defensive, versions where I attacked… Why did I have to stay silent when it really mattered?
If I’d spoken up when you asked me to leave and not come back, things would be different.
A version of me would have said that this isn’t beyond repair, that he could fix things between us, that all wasn’t lost.
But I took a razor blade to his throat and bled him dry.
I’ve slipped into a very dark pit.
And the walls read
Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch’entrate
1 comment
I lost someone I deeply loved a year and a half ago, he passed away in his sleep from a heart condition and when times are especially rough I find myself lying in bed looking up toward my ceiling and just speaking freely to him, letting the tears roll and letting my heart and mind wander to places I wouldn’t dare share with another living soul..