I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for a long time. I’ve started seeing a new therapist and though I can’t tell him everything he’s really been helping me. For the past three days I’ve felt happier and calmer than I have in a long time despite all the crap. I really want to rekindle my relationship with my (ex)boyfriend. He’s been dealing with a lot and I kept my distance because he doesn’t need to deal with me on top of it all. I’m waiting until I’m better to try and be with him again. We were perfect together until the old feelings came back. How do I know when I’m “better”? How long do I have to feel this way before I can be with my love again?
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I don’t know the answer to that notanymore. We must remember that in relationships people can become sick, physically or mentally. I know with my partner that if he became sick I would tend to him. As they say in the wedding vows ‘in sickness and in health’. Why do people think that it has to be perfect all the time? We need to be there for our partners when they well and not well, that’s part of the deal. If you don’t do that then relationships will never last because people can get sick…so what you gonna do, run everytime someone gets sick. I knew a guy who’s bf left him when he got cancer, thats not love…when was he going to get better? Who knows, he may even have died but the idea is to stick with ur partner when they need you…that’s love. What’s this idea of fair weather partners? If that’s all they are then they will never last.
I hope you do get back together.
Perhaps you could start to re-kindle your relationship by still being distant but being there for him. Perhaps he could also be distant, yet there for you. In being there for each other, it might not only help you both, but bring you closer together again.
After my separation, all I could think of was reestablishing a life and relationship with my ex and kids. I was getting help with my illness, but didn’t give myself enough time. I pushed and complained, I became suspicious and wary. I felt I was getting better, but clearly I wasn’t.
Over time I discovered that she wasn’t interested in continuing our relationship. I felt used and degraded, but I understood that she also needed time to heal and get better and didn’t know if she could be with me again.
I took the news well and started to move on with life. That’s when I knew I was better. I didn’t obsess over details, I didn’t accuse her of hurting me purposely, I didn’t start an argument over her choice. I knew that now I was definitely on the road to better health.
Only you know when you’re better. Keep in touch and make sure you both know each others intentions. Let him know that you want him back, but need to work on yourself so that your relationship will blossom without the illness interfering. Make sure he wants you back.
I’m glad the meds are working, but they take time. You may relapse next week or earlier or later. You need to get the right medication and dose for you. We’re all different and need different doses or meds.
I wish you all the best. Good luck.