Tag:

new therapist

What am I doing

by Dungeon 5/4/2016

written by Dungeon

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I need to do something.

What can I even do, I didn’t expect the consequences of my past to catch up so quickly.

The logical decision (through my perspective) would be to end my self by end of the year, but that isn’t possible due to my ridiculously high preserved morality.

OK so now that’s off the table, what the fuck am I supposed to do. GED then college?? OK where are the funds coming from? GED + Job then? I’m a fucking recluse how am I going to hold a job, history has shown I can not.

Try a new therapist? The last one I tried […]

5/4/2016 5 comments

strggling

by Namelessqueer 5/3/2016

written by Namelessqueer

I just started a new job and I feel like i’m struggling to get on my feet. I’m struggling to find a new therapist and psychiatrist that accepts my new insurance. I’m struggling to just breathe. I just broke up with someone and while it doesn’t feel like the end of the world it still feels awful. I’m feeling all sorts of ways. I feel sad that I feel useless. I feel upset and frustrated that I can’t end violence against trans people or against people of color. I know it’s not all my fault but I’ll stay sad till we’re all safe.

5/3/2016 1 comment

Protected: “One week isn’t going to kill you.”

by whiskered-fish 4/25/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

4/25/2016 32 comments

I’m just trying to calm myself.

by xx 3/31/2016

written by xx

I can’t stop crying and I can’t sleep.

Strangely, I’m scared that I may have a panic attack. I read somewhere about the low-grade ones where your heart races and you’re scared and your mind turns blank… but now I can’t seem to find information about this.

I’m at such a loss. I don’t know what to do. I feel so scared.

I took a lot of sleep aids again tonight, even though I told myself I wouldn’t. I can’t stop hurting myself.

I think this is probably withdrawal, but looking at the way things have been going so far this year, I’m almost positive that these pills aren’t […]

3/31/2016 5 comments

mom

by kristink 12/9/2015

written by kristink

it’s been awhile since i have been here. i was hoping not to feel compelled to write here again but circumstances have decided otherwise. it has been a rough year for me.when my birthday came around i had every intention of being dead. i had made arrangements, secured a means, everything was set to go. then the day came and for some reason i couldn’t do it. a few short days later i had a very ugly and traumatic breakup with both my shrink and therapist. and yet i survived. i have been off psych meds for the first time in over 20 years. things […]

12/9/2015 1 comment

I can’t keep in, I can’t let it out

by parakeet 11/29/2015

written by parakeet

We don’t know each other, but I know that at least most of you are familiar with the thought and the desire to end one’s life. I am posting these words here, to you, as I cannot share them with anyone.

I have tried so hard. I’ve been hospitalized four times and I’ve managed to avoid that in the last 6 years. I got a job and I hold on to it as if the routine and my financial independence could save me. A friend (one of the two that survived to long periods of time in which I feel unable to talk to someone) asked […]

11/29/2015 3 comments

i am still here

by kristink 8/4/2015

written by kristink

when i was here last it was my birthday and i was quite certain that it was my last day . a lot has happened since then that i think you all may find at least interesting if not useful. i was quite determined to kill myself-had the means, a location(not going to mess up my own home), wrote instructions as to what i wanted for a funeral, gotten my affairs in order etc. i wrote here, told everyone what i was going to do, then left the house. got to my location, sat down and wrote in my journal, called my (then) therapist leaving […]

8/4/2015 4 comments

Frustrated suicidal rant

by Katki 7/25/2015

written by Katki

Ok – so
I started at a new therapist yesterday
She talked to me for an hour and a half. We literally scratched the surface – I told her when I started to feel anxiety in my life and told her a LITTLE about my 3 life destroying relationships
She says to me – “You have suffered a very high degree of trauma in your life”… ALREADY – she knows this from the tiny tip of the gigantic, ship fucking sinking iceberg that is my life… I haven’t even told her about all through school and the suicide attempt(S) and she says “I have August off”… […]

7/25/2015 4 comments

3rd attempt. How to stop?

by I_just_want_2Bhappy 5/16/2015

written by I_just_want_2Bhappy

I’m currently in a partial hospitalization program after half-hearted attempt number 3. Counseling seems to be triggering a lot and I feel worse. I suffer from depression, PTSD, am a victim of abuse, abandonment and neglect. Been in therapy for years. It’s not that I want to die (at my worst I do), it’s that I have no will to live. Does anyone else feel that way?

I want to be happy again. I want to stop the daily thoughts to kill myself. I’m on meds, I’m in intensive therapy, I like my psychiatrist but need a new therapist. My cousin is doing ECT, but I […]

5/16/2015 8 comments

How do you know if you’re “better”?

by notanymore 2/24/2015

written by notanymore

I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for a long time. I’ve started seeing a new therapist and though I can’t tell him everything he’s really been helping me. For the past three days I’ve felt happier and calmer than I have in a long time despite all the crap. I really want to rekindle my relationship with my (ex)boyfriend. He’s been dealing with a lot and I kept my distance because he doesn’t need to deal with me on top of it all. I’m waiting until I’m better to try and be with him again. We were perfect together until the old feelings came […]

2/24/2015 3 comments

I feel..

by neverendingthoughts 4/21/2014

written by neverendingthoughts

So very alone. So very sick.

I’m running out of hope, and maybe that’s not the worst thing.

I’m sitting on my couch, in my underwear, after binging on food. I’m still binging on food. I feel disgusting and overwhelmed, surrounded by the grime of my house, a house I’m unable to care for no matter what I do.

I don’t know if it’s right for me to write here. What if I trigger someone to go through with their own suicide? It’s difficult to stop obsessively caring.

I don’t know if I can stay alive much longer. I don’t know if it’s right for me to. Some people […]

4/21/2014 7 comments

Exam day

by sbkstep43 1/25/2014

written by sbkstep43

Okay it’s Saturday………Exam day oh yeah but guess what police came to my house at 7 in the morning to take my parents car (we got them but back ) I had a huge panic attack I hate police so much and I had to go down there and now all my neighbour know my family is in debt ……………….oh yeah I meet my new therapist I kinda like her ………..gone to study before the exam thou wish me luck imma need it

1/25/2014 0 comment

farewell

by passionfruit3 1/30/2013

written by passionfruit3

its unbeleivable that today im talking to you all when tommorow will be another attempt that i will probably fail at but im going to try anyway.If i should die.I will probably figure out to late its a mistake and that im stupid.Im just tired of the mindless dysfunction of my life and household. I cant take all this screaming.And i have a therapist who still has not gotten back to me.I just ended today with my current therapist.That alone is a hard loss.I cant take this back.Its been planned and so it will happen. If anything goes wrong its my fault. Im a […]

1/30/2013 1 comment

the problem is

by passionfruit3 12/24/2012

written by passionfruit3

Its been a moment and since i didnt go to group tonight i figured i would talk here.A couple weeks ago i learned i would be getting a new therapist.I learned i would no longer be with the program ive been with.Now id been depressed before this over my lack of future and because ive been in pain and the doctors cant figure whats wrong with me.Well they kind of think they have but my pain continues.And it bugs.
I bought a bunch of sleeping pills to end my life the day after Christmas.The problem is i dont feel like doing it much anymore. Things […]

12/24/2012 3 comments