Psychiatry is going to kill me but that’s ok because I was suicidal for several years anyway.
I am fully aware the psychiatry is a very pseudoscientific with toxic drugs for treatment of so called mental illness. But I was born from two seriously disturbed mental patients in a NY state mental hospital. I was totally the product of psychiatric treatment. My entire existence is because of psychiatry. I wouldn’t have been born without it. I have been on almost every single psychiatric drug that is available. I have been mostly diagnosed with mood disorders and I am currently on disability for them. I have been in psychiatric wards 6 different times and had hundreds of hours of therapy too.
Lithium seems to help as long as I drink lots of water with it. Gabapentin also helps me a lot too. Nothing else so far has worked as good as these two drugs. Because ,I suffer dystonic reactions from many different anti- psychotics. I now would love to stop being a helpless mental patient. But just like my unfortunate parents before me. It has become an unfortunate part of my misguided identity.
I might as well give up and die as an incontinent mental patient that I know my dick craves of me because I am the kinkiest mental patient on the fucking planet and I don’t care anymore. The psychiatrists might keep me on fucking lithium until I am pissing blood and my kidneys are almost failing this may take a while but will surely happen if I keep taking it every day.
I am thoroughly convinced that the only healthy way for me to treat my mental illness would be with martial arts training every day. It also would be very helpful if I could own a punching bag and use it in my own place whenever I felt the need to. Getting my tattoos redone would probably also help my mental illnesses a lot too. However all of these healthy alternatives cost lots of money that I simply don’t have right now. And I am no where even close to having any of those options. So it looks like I am stuck with the toxic psychiatric shit that will just continue to cause more suffering for me in the end. Just what the doctor ordered so they can continue to capitalize off of my illness.