The mirrors scream at me
The walls abuse me
The doors restrain me
The darkness defines me
The mirrors show a face so tired
Filled with dreams that have been lost
The heart and soul they once admired
Is what my nightmares have come to cost
My hands are shaking as I stare
My legs are weak and there’s no air
Don’t you show me; don’t you dare
Don’t prove to me there’s nothing there
The walls close in and call my name
As vanity subsides to pain
I wish it would all just go away
So I could see the light of another day
The doors won’t open anymore
They’re locked up tighter than ever before
There isn’t a window within sight
I desperately crave the caress of light
These doors keep me locked inside
There’s nowhere I can run or hide
The darkness holds me close today
It sings to me sweet melodies
And when there’s nothing left to say
It still hides my broken body
Mine is the face I’ve grown to hate
That is The thought that fills this space
I can’t even look into my own eyes
Because my soul is something I despise
7 comments
You may have grown to hate your face, but I see an absolute radiance. You’re not dead yet Sams. Your passion & skill with words & images proves that you’re not even close to finished. What a waste that would be.
But I sure know the feeling of broken dreams and those suffocating walls. I wish I could show you the way out, but at last check I’m a prisoner too.
Its a shame. Ya know? Any potential that I may have is locked up behind fear, doubt, and absolute self loathing. But those feelings are normal. The difference being that most people are able to work through them. I just can’t keep my head in the right place. My mindset goes all to hell in the blink of an eye. Thank you for this push that you’re giving me and so many others on this site. You are greatly appreciated. Your comments are treasured.
I’m so glad you’re getting some strength from my weird comments ha. I always look forward to seeing your posts.
Sometimes self-esteem is all we’ve got, and when that turns bitter it’s like your last lifeboat sinking. Luckily so many people on SP really admire your talent (especially me) so maybe that can keep you afloat during the dark times. And if that fails you always got walrus’s lame jokes 🙂
Beautiful, just beautiful. The poetry and the face, I’m sorry you’ve grown to hate it so much. I can’t stand my own face, to the point that I can’t even look in the mirror, but I’m ugly as fuck, so it’s to be expected 😛
You really are a talented writer though, I wish I could write half as good as you. I think I read in something else you wrote on here about how you don’t want to turn to drugs or alcohol in order to get by. I don’t know how you are able to not self medicate, but I really admire your strength.
And since this got weirdly nice/honest for me, I’ve got to end on a stupid joke…
I remember the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, “How far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
Lol perfect way to end that. And thank you so much. I’m not sure how I’ve made it without any form of self medication. But I’m here. So I guess that’s something.
Don’t mention it, I may be awkward and terrible with words, but I’m still more than happy to remind others of the things they may have a hard time seeing in themselves.
Nobody likes their face unless they’re narcissistic. If other people like you ^ take the compliment.