I believe I’m a very manipulative person. I have been manipulative with almost everyone I care about in one way or another. I do it to one person all the time without even realizing it. That’s how natural it has become. I don’t want to be this way. It disgusts me that I attempt to control the ones I love. Not gonna state any reasons because there’s no justification. I’ve been trying hard to work on it, but all I’m doing is second-guessing myself. I feel like no matter what I say it’s solely to benefit myself. We’re all selfish, and it’s healthy to an extent. Eh, I just really don’t think I’m a good person.
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I think the words selfish and manipulative get over used. Like you say we are all selfish and to at least some extent it is necessary. As far as manipulation well we all want what we want and we try to turn things to our own advantage. If you do it without even realizing it at least its not intentional or premeditated. You aren’t trying to be malicious. I believe that everything we do or say needs to benefit us in some way otherwise it wouldn’t be worth the effort or energy it takes to do it. So unless the things you are doing are really harmful to the other people I wouldn’t worry about it so much. Just do what you are already doing, try to be mindful of what you are saying or doing and why you are saying or doing it. It takes time to change any kind of behaviour. At least you acknowledge the issue and are taking steps to try to ameliorate the situation. Have you talked to the person you feel like you constantly manipulate about how you feel? Maybe they would see it in a different light or at least if they were aware of it maybe they could point out to you when you are being unintentionally manipulative.