Why isn’t there a way to pause life and take some time to actually breathe? I’ve begged my mom so many times if i could stay home for just one day to take a break from it all, but she just laughed and said that i cant just pause life when i feel like it. She doesn’t see that everything is weighing down on me, each day is worse. these thoughts pile on top of me, making it to where its impossible not to notice them. I used to be able to block them out and act like they’re not there, they were like overdue homework assignments; i knew that they were there but i never really cared. But now they’re more like monsters creeping behind me with every step i take. They attack whenever they get the chance. sometimes one at a time, or maybe in a group, but sometimes they attack all at once.The thoughts hold me down and tear me apart. i cant ignore them when they destroy every happy moment I’ve ever had, or when they get so loud that the only thing that can get them to stop is if i stop breathing completely. My depression is worse than its ever been, i just want it to stop. it’s like incurable cancer. I’ve tried every treatment in the book, nothing is working. A few of them worked for a few weeks or so, but when it stopped working things were worse than before. I just want these feelings and thoughts to end. i can’t do this anymore.
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Its okay it will pass..just don’t give up…I feel the same way too..you’re not alone in this try talking to someone who you really love and the one you can trust…I always do that if the monsters come…I ffeel the same way..try talk to your parents and say this is serious…and seek professional help…but sometimes it helps sometimes you’re not that lucky just hold on things will be better I’m sure anyways have a nice day 🙂
You can always take a day off without letting anyone know, maybe take a long walk or just going to some place where you won’t be bothered. That’s what i usually do when i feel like things get out of hand (which is often, but that’s another story). I agree with lost_hopeless27 too, maybe your mom doesn’t realize how serious it is and just thinks you’re being silly or something. In any case good luck, hope you find something that works for you.
I’m not sure I care who you are, every single person takes time off. We aren’t meant to keep repressing just to “placate” expectations from others. You HAVE to take care of yourself. Love, give yourself some slack and relax in what i just said as the international truth.
You do have to honor your mother but, saying you can’t take care of yourself is just simply not true.
You need to discover what is best for you to relax and get respit (it’s not one size fits all) while keeping strong enough to carry through obligations from others in authority right now (school parents etc).
There will come a time where it’s okay to forgo expected obligations at work because, you just don’t need to care about it when your struggling becomes unbearable… that’s where accrued leave helps you out. Until then… you need some rest however you can get it.
It’s clear your mother won’t allow a day off, honor her decision. However, there are ways around everything in the world, it takes a creative mind (believe me, I know first hand). And finding those ways can turn adventurous and bring about exactly what you needed, some control in your life… your control over what happens to you and how you feel and where you are. Make sure you’re safe.
People in authority aren’t the end all to anything, especially if they are contradicting what you know is true to you, how you feel and what you need. Alternatively they must be respected and there are rules to live by in the midst of you discovering being you. People aren’t bad, they just say and do dumb things. Everyone does.
Just know that you know more than you think, and there is no right or wrong way to giving to yourself what others can’t. You are in control of you and what you tell yourself when no one else can is what you should be listening to. Some may think you’re strange for doing so, but you are far from strange, you’re wonderful, you’re You.