I just feel so empty..I’m so tired of the same bullshit lines.
“It’s okay.”
“It’s a phase, it’ll pass.”
“It get’s better.”
It doesn’t fucking feel like it. Nothing will ever be okay. I’m just a waste of space and I have no purpose on this planet. I wish I could just disappear. I wish death was an easy process because this life doesn’t seem worth living. No one honestly gives a shit. I tried to reach out for help but I’m just laughed at. Ignored even.
“You don’t even have anything to be depressed about.”
“Just get over it.”
I wish it was that easy. I hate feeling this way. I feel so selfish. I feel like a horrible friend, sister, daughter for even trying to talk about the shit that goes on in my head..and everyone just seems to push me aside…I suppose I’m not worth much. I’m easily replaced. There’s so many different females out there that are far better than I’ll ever be.
It doesn’t feel like there’s much of a reason to fight anymore. I just want to give in already..I want to be at peace..and if I don’t find peace..well at least everyone that was around will be at peace without my dumbass around to fuck shit up. And just like they say..
“There’s plenty of people out there that have it worse than you.”
Then I guess that proves my point. I am pretty pathetic.
3 comments
I feel ya. I may not be female, but still. I feel ya.
“just get over it’ and ‘you have nothing to be depressed about’ and ‘others have it worse’ are some of the stupidest inconsiderate and least helpful responses out there. *shakes head* depression doesn’t discriminate, it happens to anybody regardless of circumstance.
it’s great that you tried to reach out, unfortunate that they turned out to be unhelpful. Not everyone will act like that, but understanding is often lacking.
Wanting to get these feelings out of your head and share them is in no way horrible, you have as much right to express how you feel as they do. And as this feeling isn’t one you choose to have, you aren’t selfish for feeling it. It’s ok that you are feeling these things, not enjoyable or right but it’s an acceptable state (as in it’s not something you should feel ashamed of feeling or that the fact you feel like this is invalid, not meaning that it’s something you should have to deal with or deserve- does that make sense?)
You aren’t pathetic, a waste of space, or worthless. you are someone who is struggling, and the negative feelings you have over-exaggerate thoughts that aren’t helpful or kind to yourself. But you are worth more than this darkness you are experiencing.
your situation isn’t necessarily impossible to improve. Actually receiving some help for it will make things less lonesome, though it will be a struggle to achieve change. It is something that, even if it doesn’t pass for a while or ever, in many cases can at least be diminished. There are some self-help options as well.
As for the ‘females that are better’ comment, well that’s debatable and depends on your definition of better. People are different, and it’s very hard to compare any two people, as they have varying experiences and traits that affect who they become, if circumstances were switched would the result be the same? it’s doubtful. The best you can do is try to accept you as you are, and try to become the best version of yourself, which is a life long process, and difficult.
I’m one to talk, but as it is sound advice I share it with you.
You are not pathetic. You have been dealing with this shit since you were 8 years old! No wonder you are tired. You are strong because you have carried on despite the feeling that there is no point and you just want to die. People not listening, not understanding, not caring… that is how it tends to be with depression, mental illness, most illness. Hopefully you will meet someone who does understand and care. Until then keep talking here. Your feelings are valid and important.