I used to be able to pretend and put on a happy face even though I was always depressed. People thought I was the happiest person. I was even able to work at one point. The depression got the best of me and there is no pretending anymore. Only loneliness and misery. I am an outcast in society. I hate holidays. I hate birthdays. I want no part of this world. Sometimes I spend a week at a time with a guy I like, but when I get home, it’s back to drowning. I’m just not making it. I hate this life. I hate that it’s built around having to function and if you’re not one of the shiny, happy people, you’re fucked.
I just need this to end. I can’t keep up with this rollercoaster. Feeling high and falling so low. Stupid false hope. Always tricks me into thinking I can keep going. Make it over.
Suffering in silence is the worst too. I don’t want to burden people with how much I’m hurting inside. It’s too painful. I tell people sometimes, but a lot of times I try to keep it inside. No one wants to keep hearing how miserable I am. Life hurts.
So true. I rarely discuss the pain. When I do I listen to myself like an outside observer and troll myself.
“wahhhh LDS your life is so hard, waaaaah the people in your life don’t love you, blah ditty blah blah blah.”
Usually it’s a lot more hilarious than that, she’s taking a nap right now or I would let her type for a bit since she really is an uber troll.
4 comments
Normal people are so over rated sadsadist.
I used to be able to pretend and put on a happy face even though I was always depressed. People thought I was the happiest person. I was even able to work at one point. The depression got the best of me and there is no pretending anymore. Only loneliness and misery. I am an outcast in society. I hate holidays. I hate birthdays. I want no part of this world. Sometimes I spend a week at a time with a guy I like, but when I get home, it’s back to drowning. I’m just not making it. I hate this life. I hate that it’s built around having to function and if you’re not one of the shiny, happy people, you’re fucked.
I just need this to end. I can’t keep up with this rollercoaster. Feeling high and falling so low. Stupid false hope. Always tricks me into thinking I can keep going. Make it over.
Suffering in silence is the worst too. I don’t want to burden people with how much I’m hurting inside. It’s too painful. I tell people sometimes, but a lot of times I try to keep it inside. No one wants to keep hearing how miserable I am. Life hurts.
So true. I rarely discuss the pain. When I do I listen to myself like an outside observer and troll myself.
“wahhhh LDS your life is so hard, waaaaah the people in your life don’t love you, blah ditty blah blah blah.”
Usually it’s a lot more hilarious than that, she’s taking a nap right now or I would let her type for a bit since she really is an uber troll.